Malaysian English vs British English

Who says our English is teruk. Ours is simple,short,concise, straight-to-point and very effective.

etc. The English did invent the English Language, but they cannot use it economically when communicating their intentions. Compare these phrases that Malaysians and Britons use to say the same thing: So, why make things so confusing and waste of money when you are and a long distance call.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hallo, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Malaysians:No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysians: Doe-waaaan!

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians: Shaddap lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?

Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.

Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Malaysians: Wat happen Why lidat????ADUI!!! (jumping to conclusion)

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you.

Malaysians:Hoi!!!u pig ar lidat also doe no how to do!!!!

WHEN SOMEONE PISS YOU OFF
Britons: That's a terrible thing you did...I am very disappointed with you

Malaysians: CHI-BAI!!

Lingam's Devil Curry

Check out this funny music video called "Lingam's Devil Curry". Make sure you pump up the volume.



If the video does not work, click here

Why Men Are Never Depressed?

Men Are Just Happier People - What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. !

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Ida to prove she's not in sex clip

PETALING JAYA: After shrugging off suggestions that she was featured in a sex video last month, actress Ida Nerina has now come out to say she is going to clear her name.

"I am discussing with my lawyers on the best course of action," she said after the screening of her latest film Anak at the Cineleisure Damansara here yesterday.

"Just because I did not lodge a police report on the matter, it does not mean that I was the one featured in the clip."

The 10-minute clip circulating on the Internet shows a couple having sex.

Although rumours of Ida's alleged involvement in the video started circulating early last month, she claimed she only knew about the video two weeks ago.

Source: The New Straits Times

ACA seeks to clarify allegation

PUTRAJAYA: The Anti-Corruption Agency will make an application to the Royal Commission of Inquiry tomorrow to clear its name in the wake of testimony that it had paid a witness to close a 1998 investigation.

This is in relation to the testimony of G. Jayanti on Tuesday, who had said she was given RM3,000 by an ACA officer at the end of investigations into a report lodged against Lingam by his brother, V. Thirunama Karasu.

ACA sources said the agency's senior officers would like to get Attorney-General Tan Sri Abdul Gani Patail's consent before submitting a statement to the commission.

"Her evidence has put the ACA in a bad light. We want to clarify what she had testified for public understanding," a source said.

On Tuesday, Jayanti told the commission that ACA officer Wong Chee Kong gave her RM3,000 after she was questioned three times in connection with a report lodged by Thirunama in 1998.
Thirunama had implicated Lingam and former chief justice Tun Mohamed Eusoff Chin for alleged corruption.

Jayanti, a former secretary to Lingam, told the commission she had gone to the ACA office on three occasions in April 1998, but was told three months later that the file had to be closed as it involved high-ranking government officers.

She also confirmed through her counsel, R.S.N Rayer, that it was Wong who gave her the money. Wong, who was from the ACA intelligence unit, has since retired.

Jayanti was the 19th witness to take the stand and she is expected to be examined by other counsel when hearing resumes today.

Source: The New Straits Times

FM: If what is alleged above is true, I tend to wonder the ACA's independence when conducting their investigation. The real question is, who is really in control of the ACA?

Ad exec stuns girlfriend with RM54,000 marriage proposal

PETALING JAYA: For this Valentine’s Day, businesswoman Kelly Tan E Li got an unexpected marriage proposal.

It was “wrapped” in a RM14,000 diamond ring and a huge billboard advertisement in which her boyfriend publicly declared his intentions.

“This is the biggest surprise of my life. And, the whole thing started as a very normal Wednesday. We went out for dinner and my boyfriend David Tan insisted on sending me home.

“The date ended very late, close to midnight. We got talking in the car and as we drove along the LDP in Kelana Jaya, he got excited and asked me to look at an “interesting” billboard by the side of the road,” said Kelly, 24.

As David was working in an advertising firm, Kelly assumed he wanted to show her some fancy new advertisements.

“I looked and was stunned. David’s picture was on the board! And beside his picture, were the magic words 'Kelly Tan E Li, will you marry me?'

“I was so shocked and could not speak for about 10 minutes. He finally smiled when I told him 'yes',” said Kelly.

And the RM40,000 billboard was not the only surprise.

Immediately after Kelly said yes, David pulled out a box and inside, was a sparkling diamond ring.

“I cannot ask for a more memorable Valentine’s Day. I really want to thank David for this unique proposal,” said Kelly, a nail salon owner in Bangsar.

David, 26, said he had planned this surprise for some time. He only wanted the best for Kelly.

The accounts executive said he deliberately proposed on Valentine’s Day so that they could remember this day with fondness in the future.

“I work in an advertising company and am always thinking out of the box to come up with new concepts and ideas. I wanted my marriage proposal to be unique,” said David.

He added that luck was definitely on his side for him to be able to book one of the billboards along the LDP, which were highly in demand.

“The fact that I managed to book one especially on Valentine’s Day is so lucky. Hopefully, our marriage will be equally amazing,” said David.

The couple met at a friend’s house during Chinese New Year three years ago and started dating six months later.

David has already started planning for the wedding.

“It should be held sometime at the end of this year or early next year.

“I cannot wait to marry Kelly. She is an amazing woman and she deserves all the attention I shower on her,” he said.

Source: The Star Online

'ACA officer gave me RM3,000'

KUALA LUMPUR: G. Jayanti also testified on the documents she handed over to Shafee.

"During the course of my employment at V.K. Lingam & Co, I took possession of a group photograph of Vincent Tan and his wife, (former attorney-general) Datuk Mohtar Abdullah and his wife and Lingam and his wife.

"I also took possession of a photocopy of a Bank of Nova Scotia cheque for payment to Holiday Tours. These documents were given to Shafee to keep," she said.

Shafee asked whether Lingam had a direct communication line to Tan.

"Yes, there is a direct intercom from his room to Tan," replied Jayanti.
Further evidence on the ACA also came to light when she answered questions by her second counsel R.S.N. Rayes.

When Rayes asked Jayanti how many times she had given statements to the ACA, she said she had done so on three occasions in April 1998.

Rayes: Was this in respect of V.K. Lingam's alleged close relationship with judges?

Jayanti: Yes.

Rayes: After they concluded their investigations, did they tell you anything?

The courtroom was silent when Jayanti replied: "They told me about three months later that the file had to be closed because it involved high-ranking officers in the government. They then gave me RM3,000 cash."

Commission chairman Tan Sri Haidar Mohamed Noor interjected: "You took the money?" "Yes, I took it," replied Jayanti.

Rayes asked whether she knew the name of the ACA officer who had spoken to her.

"It was a Chinese gentleman, I don't remember his full name but it was Wong."

"Was his name perhaps Wong Chee Kong?" asked Rayes.

"Yes," replied Jayanti.

Rayes: The RM3,000 that was given to you, was it a reward or was it to quieten you?

Jayanti: Nothing was mentioned. It was just given to me.

Source: The New Straits Times

Yes We Can - Barack Obama Music Video by Will.I.Am

A truly inspiring speech by Senator Obama that was turned into an amazing music video about "Hope " by Will.I.Am (of the Black Eye Peas). Senator Obama is one of the main contender running to be (the first black) US President.

Senator Obama, Yes You Can!!

Lyrics:

"It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.

Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.

Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballots; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.

Yes we can to justice and equality.

Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.

Yes we can heal this nation.

Yes we can repair this world.

Yes we can.

We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics...they will only grow louder and more dissonant ........... We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.

But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.

Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea --

Yes. We. Can."

Celebrities featured include: Jesse Dylan, Will.i.am, Common, Scarlett Johansson, Tatyana Ali, John Legend, Herbie Hancock, Kate Walsh, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Adam Rodriquez, Kelly Hu, Adam Rodriquez, Amber Valetta, Eric Balfour, Aisha Tyler, Nicole Scherzinger and Nick Cannon

Car nearly sinks into hole

PETALING JAYA: A Proton Iswara nearly disappeared into a sinkhole yesterday in Kelana Jaya. It was believed to have been caused by a broken pipe.

Courier company employee Osman Kassim had parked the vehicle in front of a restaurant in Pekan Batu 10, and was on his way to make a delivery in Klang when he received a call from a colleague that his car was sinking into a watery hole.

“I rushed back to the office. It was quite a shock to see the front of my car submerged in the hole. My friends and I tried to pull the car out but we couldn’t,” said Osman, adding that the engine compartment and the front seat of his car were drenched.

The Fire and Rescue Department later pulled it out.

No one was hurt, and other cars parked nearby were removed in time.

Source: The New Straits Times

Auxiliary cop caught growing ganja

IPOH: An auxiliary police constable was caught smoking ganja while watering his marijuana plant at his security post at the Sultan Abu Bakar Dam in Cameron Highlands.

Cameron Highlands OCPD Deputy Supt Yahaya Othman said the man was busy fussing over his 90cm-high plant when the police caught him at 5pm on in Ringlet.

“At the time, he was also smoking a joint he had just rolled for himself,” he said, adding that the police managed to ambush the man following a public tip-off.

The 28-year-old man, who has worked as a security guard at the post for the past eight years, had apparently been growing the plant for over two months.

“He grew it close to his security post, near some bushes,” said DSP Yahaya.

He added that the man, who lives with his wife and child at Batu 37, Tapah, would be investigated under Section 6D of the Dangerous Drugs Act 1952.

If convicted, the man faces life imprisonment and six strokes of the rotan.

Source: The Star Online

Super duck that refuses to die

ALOR GAJAH: A duck that refuses to die after having its throat slit twice has become the talk of Masjid Tanah here.

Bahari Ali, 44, said he slit its throat about 7.45am on Sunday, but found it alive hours later.

The poultry farmer said the duck's throat had nearly been severed, but it was none the worse for it.

"Its throat had a large cut but the duck was still breathing," he said.

After observing the duck for 15 hours, Bahari sought the help of an imam to finish the job.
However, the duck did not die even after the imam slit its throat a second time.

Bahari said he had expected the duck to be dead by morning, but found it waddling around as usual.

"It is beginning to smell bad and cannot eat because of the two cuts. But it is still doing what it normally does in its coop," he added.

Source: The New Straits Times

Tourist lodge report RM700 for a short cab trip

HOW much is the fare from Kuala Lumpur International Airport to Kuala Lumpur?
If you are unlucky, you might end up paying RM700, as experienced by two couples from Ireland and Scotland.

Maurreen Timmins, 51, from Ireland, arrived in KLIA from London with his wife and his friends, a couple from Scotland, yesterday at 7.30am for transit.

They were to leave for Australia at 9.35pm.

On arrival, they waited for their tourist agent from Fleet Holidays Sdn Bhd as the agency was supposed to arrange for transport and a hotel.

However, they were approached by a well-dressed man claiming to be from the agency. He introduced himself as ‘Babuji’.

“Babuji claimed that the tour agency had a problem and couldn’t pick us up. He was wearing a suit and fluent in English.

“He made a few calls from his cell phone and told us that everything had been settled.

“He then asked us to pay RM700 for transport from KLIA to the hotel and back and told us that we could claim our money from the tour agent.

“After paying him RM700 in cash, he took us to a van. We were taken directly to the hotel.”

At the hotel, Timmins said he contacted the agency to claim for the fare but was told that their agent was still waiting for them at the airport.

That was when the foreigners realised that they had been cheated by touts. They then lodged a police report.

Fleet Holidays Sdn Bhd operation manager Mohd Zaid Yahya said it was not the first such incident.

“The touts approach tourists at the arrival gate and will convince them that their bus had broken down or the travel agency had to cancel their transport and hotel booking.

“The tout will then promise to arrange everything for a higher fee that the tourists are supposed to claim from their travel agents.

“They will even issue a fake receipt and take their victims to taxi drivers who are working with them.

“The fake receipt does not have any contact number or address making it impossible for the authorities to detect them,” said Zaid.

He said that touts and illegal taxi operators are still operating at the airport despite the matter being highlighted in the media many times.

“I hope that the authorities will take stern action,” said Zaid, who had helped the tourists lodge a police report at KLIA.

Deputy Tourism Minister Datuk Donald Lim said that touts and illegal taxi operators at the airport can badly affect tourism in Malaysia.

“This issue has been there for a while and Tourism Malaysia is very concerned,” he said.

“We hope tourists who were cheated will co-operate by lodging a complaint with us or police. We urge cheated tourists to provide the registration numbers of the taxis so that action can be taken.”

He urged the Commercial Vehicle Licensing Department and the Road Transport Department to take action.

Source: The Malay Mail

INDECENT EXPOSURE

A LOUNGE in Jalan Ipoh became one of the most sought after nightspots within a month of its opening.

And the lure was not good music, but an eyeful from female Filipino and Thai band members who would strip to their bras and underwear after a few riffs every night.

But on Thursday, the energetic performance by the seven women was cut short by eight Immigration flying squad officers who had posed as patrons for three nights.

The lounge had hired the band three weeks ago to lure customers from other nightspots in the area and it had received rave reviews from the crowd.

Immigration enforcement director Datuk Ishak Mohamed said the band members had been performing daily between 9pm and 2.30am.

He said the girls were performing in bras and underwear, covered only with transparent tops, not realising there were undercover Immigration officers in the crowd.

The raid, dubbed Ops Sayang, followed a tip-off.

“We found the lounge management had not applied for professional passes for the foreign band, rendering them illegal,” said Ishak.

“The lounge was competing with other clubs in the neighbourhood and probably decided on the performance on top of the singing to attract more customers,” said Ishak, adding that the band members were promised a salary of between RM1,000 and RM1,500 a month by the management.

Besides the band members, two Bangladeshi bartenders wearing cleaner tags were detained in the two-hour raid. Those detained were aged between 20 and 25.

“The club manager was arrested for hiring foreign workers without permits,” said Ishak.

Investigations revealed that the band members had entered the country as tourists and were granted social visit passes under the government’s visa-onarrival scheme to promote Visit Malaysia Year 2007.

“Their visas show that they are regulars here but we are examining the stamp on their passes to see if it is fake,” he said.

Ishak advised foreign bands to obtain special permits from the Immigration Department and from the Culture, Arts and Heritage Ministry before entering the country.

“Most club managements prefer to hire foreign performers as they are cheaper compared to local artistes but they should go through the proper channel.”

“It is better to be safe than sorry. We do not want to ruin a good night out with our raids,” he said.

It is a must for foreign performers to apply for the passes.

Without the passes, foreign performers are not allowed to perform or appear in any event.

He said those detained in the raid face charges under Section 33(b) and Section 55 of the Immigration Act 1959/63.

If found guilty, they can be fined up to RM10,000 or jailed up to five years, or both.

Source: The Malay Mail

Rong Jing balloons to 43kg and she’s only 3

ALOR STAR: Lau Rong Jing tips the scales at 43kg, and she is only three years old.

The toddler’s super size has got her parents worried and they have started her on a diet.

Rong Jing weighed a normal 3.42kg when she was born in 2005. But as a baby, she was always hungry and consumed 10 bottles of milk daily. At eight months, Rong Jing already weighed 10.5kg.

“We stopped carrying Rong Jing when she was 20 months because she was 20kg and just too heavy,” said her schoolteacher father Lau Pee Choong.

“I think her weight is abnormal. Rong Jing is even heavier than some of my primary school pupils,” he added.

The little girl, who is 100cm tall, loves ice cream and chips and often munches cookies in between meals. She also enjoys packet drinks and can take up to three packets a day.

Apart from her own three meals, she would also eat when her uncles and aunts popped by for lunch and dinner, sometimes ending up with five to six full meals a day.

“Nowadays, we try to make Rong Jing stick to just three meals but it is difficult as she will sometimes scream when she doesn’t get to eat what she wants,” he said.

Lau, 38, and his wife Yuwaret Ah Tiew, 27, from Kampung China, about 50km from Alor Star, have taken Rong Jing, their only child, to the Sultanah Bahiyah Hospital here several times for consulta-tion.

He was later informed that Rong Jing did not have any health problems despite her obesity.

“They cannot tell me what is wrong although they think her weight problem is genetic. But I don’t think so because my wife and I are medium built,” he said.

A consultant paediatrician with the Putra Medical Centre, Dr. K. Gunasegaran, said Rong Jing’s ideal weight for her height should be around 15kg.

Looking at her pictures, he said her condition could be genetic or due to hormonal problems.

Her weight, if uncontrolled, could lead to complications such as diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure as well as skeletal problems.

“She may also encounter breathing and sleeping problems,” he said.

Dr. K. Gunasegaran added that he was willing to examine the girl and get her blood samples taken for analysis either here or abroad.

Source: The Star Online