RTD chief denies it but she admits to khalwat: Video included?

KUALA LUMPUR: He is married and she is already engaged to be married.

But on Aug 8, both of them were found in the same room at a five-star hotel here. He was clad in a towel while she was in bed, covered only with a blanket.

And yesterday, both of them were at the Syariah High Court where they were charged with committing khalwat (close proximity).

The accused was the Kedah Road Transport Department director, Zulkifli Othman, 46, who claimed trial.

Nurjuliati Juhar, 27, pleaded guilty and was fined RM2,950. She is a secretary with the Education Ministry.
The offence was committed at Room No. 401, Concorde Hotel, Jalan Sultan Ismail, about 3am on Aug 8.

Facts of the case stated that a team of enforcement officers from the Federal Territory Religious Department raided the hotel room upon receiving a tip-off.

Zulkifli was clad only in a towel when he opened the door to the officers, but tried to shut it after they introduced themselves.

After forcing their way into the room, the raiding party found Nurjuliati lying on the bed covered only with a blanket and checks revealed that they were not married to each other.

Prosecuting officer Mohd Yusof Sulaiman told the court that as Nurjuliati was a government servant at the Education Ministry, she should not have been involved in such an act which could adversely affect the moral development of students.

Clad in a purple baju kurung and a white headscarf, Nurjuliati told the court that she was repentant and pleaded with the court to impose only a fine.

"I don’t want to go to jail. My duties at the ministry have nothing to do with students.

"I only deal with promotions of teachers.

"I have planned to marry my fiance and I have confessed to him.

"I promise never to repeat this," she told the court in mitigation.

Judge Muhkyuddin Brahim then imposed a fine of RM2,950 in default of two months’ jail.

She paid the fine.

The judge also fixed Oct 2 for Zulkifli’s next mention.

The RTD director was not represented.

Source: The New Straits Times

Could this video be them?

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Japanese counting problem - funny stuff

This got to be the funniest video from Japan which FM will like to share with Malaysian readers. Check out what happens when the guy has to count beyond number 10. Damn funny!

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Man to pay RM87,000 for breaking promise to marry girlfriend

IPOH: A woman was awarded some RM87,000 in a High Court here after she sued her ex-boyfriend for breaking his promise to marry her.

Justice Mohd Azman Husin ruled that legal clerk S. Nagamah, 38, had proven her claim against legal office administrator R. Punnosamy, 41.

He said he found Nagamah’s testimony to be more convincing than Punnosamy’s and ordered him to pay RM50,000 for breaching his promise to marry her.

Another RM2,000 was awarded to Nagamah as compensation for assault, when Punnosamy had slapped her in 2002 after she had supposedly threatened his fiancée at a tuition centre in Teluk Intan.

Justice Mohd Azman also ordered Punnosamy to pay RM20,000 for Nagamah’s mental anguish and loss of reputation, name and honour, as well as costs.

Nagamah’s counsel S. Muthuveeran said the additional costs came up to about RM15,000, although Punnosamy’s lawyer Abdul Malik Mat Judi said the actual amount still had to be assessed.

Abdul Malik added that his client would file an appeal. Neither the man nor the woman, who are both from Teluk Intan, were present for the decision.

Outside the courtroom on Monday, Muthuveeran told reporters that Nagamah was still single and suffering from the stigma in her community because of what happened.

"She was really in love with him. That’s why she felt so cheated," he added.

Last year, Nagamah had testified that she had sex with Punnosamy 31 times on the belief that they were in love and would marry.

She had denied having any ill intention when she recorded the date and place of each sexual encounter, in various places in Sitiawan, Teluk Intan and Ipoh, from 1998 to 2001.

Nagamah also disagreed that she kept the records of their sexual encounters to prevent him from running away from her.

She had testified that she only had intimate relations with Punnosamy because she loved him, adding that she thought their relationship was "special".

However, Punnosamy testified that he had never promised to marry her, adding that it was Nagamah who seduced him or usually contacted him to ask him out.

He admitted during testimony that he had sexual relations with her "more than 20 times", but insisted that Nagamah was only a friend.

Source: The Star Online

Funny Photos that are distinctively Malaysian

Funny Photos that are distinctively Malaysian

A really pissed off shop owner

Source: Contributed to FM by SuperAngler

This is definitely a stool for Man

Source: Darren

Look carefully, Proton Pesona with 2 fuel gauge - Malaysia Boleh! Boleh!

Source: Rojaks

Lesbian kiss photo riles Singapore

FM: Interesting news for fellow Malaysian on what's happening in Singapore. Singaporeans are becoming too liberal for us Malaysians :)

(click to enlarge photo)

An online auction site has seen bids to buy the photo of a girlish peck. And it is still making its rounds on the Internet - the result of a 'silly prank' that backfired.

In a rash moment, two girls from Anderson Junior College (Singapore) locked lips for the camera - all for a wacky class photo. They pulled off the joke under the noses of their form tutor and their classmates, when posing for an informal memento at the annual photo-taking session.

Now, the former Year One Science students say they did not mean it and are sorry for what they did. However, it has caused unnecessary embarrassment to the college, their tutor and their parents.

The photo was taken last August. Six months later, it is still making faces go red, no thanks to its circulation via the Internet.

AJC's principal of five years, Mr Tan Tiek Kwee, told The Y Scene that the photo of the kiss was not a result of some fancy digital trick, as some suspected at first. It was just a result of a 'silly prank', he said. The 'fun' pose, captured by a photographer from AJC's Photographic Society, was for the class to keep. As the photographer said 'One, two, three', the girls kissed on the count of three.

Mr Tan claimed that the tutor and the other classmates were not aware of the quick peck - until the photo was developed about a week later. The vice-principal then took immediate action to confiscate the photo and retrieve the negative.

Mr Tan did not want us to speak to the tutor and the girls, but said the tutor was 'unhappy and disappointed' with what happened. When confronted, the girls had cried - out of remorse.

Mr Tan said, "They said they had not pre-planned what they wanted to do.and it was done on the spur of the moment. 'They wanted something creative but they went overboard." He added that there was no 'special relationship' between the two.

The girls have also been punished. They had to do community service in school and write a reflection on what they had done and why they did it. Mr Tan added that the girls' parents were informed and they had apologised to the principal and the college.

Just when they thought the matter was behind them, the photo was put up for an online auction this month. An ex-student also e-mailed Mr Tan, to tell him that he had received the photo as well. Mr Tan, who thought that he had destroyed all evidence of the photo, was bewildered.

Upon further investigation, he found that three copies of the photo had been made by a member of the Photographic Society. The boy had kept one for himself and passed the other two to his schoolmates. Mr Tan said, "One of them passed it to his friend, a polytechnic student. What happened after that, we can't be too sure."

The online auction had started on March 9. Within five days, there were seven bids for the photo. The starting bid of SD $13.14 had risen to SD $53.30, but the auction was cancelled when the school wrote to the site.

Source: New Paper Singapore

Boy's testicles stuck in pipe after fall

FM: Talk about bad luck...

BUKIT MERTAJAM: A screaming 9-year-old was rushed to hospital with his testicles stuck in a metal pipe.

The boy had to endure the pain for almost 30 minutes before doctors operated on him and removed the pipe.

The incident happened at the boy’s home in Kampung Baru here at 10.15pm on Sunday.

It is learnt that the boy was having a bath when his younger brother called out to him from an adjacent room.

He climbed up the bathroom partition to see why his brother was making a ruckus when he slipped and landed on an uncovered metal pipe which runs into the concrete water tank.
His father, 50, rushed into the bathroom and was shocked to see his son lying on the floor with his testicles stuck in the pipe.

Medical staff who responded to the emergency call were forced to call firemen for help when they too failed to remove the pipe.

Bukit Mertajam fire officer Rohana Mustafa said they had to use a hydraulic cutter to cut both ends of the pipe.

The boy was then rushed to the Seberang Jaya Hospital with his testicles still caught in the L-shaped pipe.

He underwent a 30-minute operation and was discharged from the hospital at noon yesterday.

Source: The New Straits Times

Fuk Mi Sushi and Seafood Restaurant

Must be a very EXPENSIVE Japanese Restaurant. There mottos - "Fuk Mi Real Nice - the sushi that is" and "The Biggest (Sushi & Seafood Buffet) spread in town - Fuk Mi serve you looooong time".

Minah rempit tak bermaruah: Aksi lucah melampau - Videos Included

KUALA LUMPUR: Minah rempit kini semakin berani meletakkan diri mereka di dalam carta ‘sampah masyarakat’ berikutan penyebaran beberapa klip video kumpulan itu di internet dalam keadaan memalukan.

Jika sebelum ini banyak kumpulan mat rempit merakam aksi ‘berani mati’, kini minah rempit pula bertindak lebih dahsyat apabila secara sukarela membiarkan aksi jijik mereka dirakam dan kemudian dimuat turun di internet, termasuk laman web antarabangsa.

Kebanyakan klip video itu boleh didapati di laman web ‘YouTube’ dengan menaip perkataan ‘Minah Rempit’. Laman web itu kemudian memaparkan 63 transaksi atau klip video berkaitan kumpulan berkenaan.

Bagaimanapun, Metro Ahad yang melayari laman web itu hanya mendapati lapan daripada klip video berkenaan memaparkan aksi melampau minah rempit, dengan tiga menunjukkan aksi kelucahan melampau yang memalukan.

Klip video terbaru minah rempit yang dimuat turun ke laman web ‘YouTube’ seminggu lalu adalah paling berani bertajuk ‘Drunken Minah Rempit Show Off’ (DMRSO) memaparkan seorang minah rempit membuka baju dan menunjukkan payu daranya ketika membonceng motosikal ditunggang seorang mat rempit.



Dalam klip video selama 46 saat itu, minah rempit bertopi keledar itu turut menunjukkan isyarat lucah kepada penunggang dan pembonceng motosikal yang mengekori untuk merakam aksinya.

Walaupun baru seminggu dimuat turun dalam ‘YouTube’, klip video itu mencapai lebih 6,000 ‘hits’ atau ditonton 6,000 kali oleh mereka yang melayari laman web itu.

Ini perkembangan terbaru yang bukan saja memperlekehkan kewibawaan penguatkuasaan undang-undang, tetapi juga mencemarkan imej negara, terutama klip video itu dimuatkan turun ke laman web antarabangsa, sekali gus boleh ditonton di seluruh dunia.

Selain DMRSO, klip video yang turut mendapat sambutan hangat di internet bertajuk ‘Mat N Minah Rempit’ memaparkan aksi minah rempit berdiri lalu membuka baju dan menunjukkan payu daranya dalam aksi mengghairahkan. Di belakang minah rempit terbabit ialah seorang mat rempit memakai topi keledar.



Klip video lain bertajuk ‘Awek Rempit Kena Raba’ pula menunjukkan seorang mat rempit meraba dan memasukkan tangannya ke dalam coli seorang minah rempit di warung sambil diperhatikan beberapa rakan mereka.



Sebelum ini, klip video bertajuk ‘Awek Kedah Merempit’ (AKM) yang menunjukkan seorang minah rempit secara selamba tanpa rasa takut berdiri di belakang motosikal ditunggang secara ‘wheelie’ oleh seorang mat rempit mendapat sambutan hangat di laman web berkenaan berikutan ia dikatakan aksi paling hebat pernah dilakukan minah rempit.



Begitupun, di dalam ‘YouTube’ ada beberapa klip video yang sama dengan AKM tetapi mempunyai tajuk lain seperti ‘Remix Mat Minah Rempit Mengganas’, ‘Minah Rempit’ dan ‘Awek Kedah’.



Aksi lain minah rempit di laman web ‘YouTube’ ialah klip video bertajuk ‘Minah Bertudung Pacak’ menunjukkan dua gadis bertudung cuba melakukan aksi ‘wheelie’. Satu lagi klip video sama pula menggunakan tajuk ‘Apa Le Nak Jadi’.



Klip video bertajuk ‘Minah Rempit U’ pula menunjukkan sekumpulan minah rempit yang tidak memakai topi keledar menunggang lima motosikal di kawasan jalan utama, manakala ‘Awek Tenggek’ membabitkan aksi minah rempit membonceng motosikal sambil menaikkan punggungnya untuk menarik perhatian mat rempit lain.

Klip video terakhir ialah ‘Rempit’ yang menunjukkan minah rempit di atas motosikal pada siang hari menonton sekumpulan mat rempit menunjukkan pelbagai aksi berbahaya.



Semua klip video itu turut disebarkan menerusi telefon bimbit dan e-mel.

Timbalan Menteri Keselamatan Dalam Negeri, Datuk Fu Ah Kiow, berang dengan apa yang berlaku dan menyifatkannya sebagai usaha menduga kesabaran Polis Diraja Malaysia (PDRM).

Beliau dipetik sebagai berkata, kehadiran klip video yang mudah diakses melalui internet dan telefon bimbit itu akan menimbulkan masalah apabila ada pihak, terutama remaja ‘cetek akal’, ghairah meniru aksi berkenaan.

Penyebaran klip video terbaru itu menunjukkan kumpulan rempit, termasuk minah rempit, semakin ganas dan sanggup melakukan apa saja untuk menarik perhatian masyarakat, seolah-olah perbuatan mereka sesuatu yang glamor.

Aksi ganas minah rempit terbaru ialah pada 18 Ogos lalu apabila seorang remaja perempuan berusia belasan tahun menendang motosikal anggota Skuad 42 Polis Trafik Kuala Lumpur untuk menyelamatkan teman lelakinya ketika cuba ditangkap dalam operasi mencegah mat rempit di Bandar Tun Razak, di sini.

Berikutan itu, Ketua Trafik Pasukan Bukit Aman, Senior Asisten Komisioner II Hamza Taib, mengumumkan Skuad 42 yang diwujudkan khas untuk membanteras lumba haram yang kini hanya beroperasi di ibu kota akan diperluaskan ke negeri lain, terutama Pulau Pinang, Perak, Johor dan Selangor.

“Bukan mudah untuk menangkap dan menggempur kegiatan lumba haram kerana mereka licik dan berani. Sebab itu perancangan lebih teratur dan fokus perlu dilaksanakan, termasuk melakukan penyamaran,” katanya.

Beliau berkata, sejak 2005 hingga Julai tahun ini, seramai 1,557 pelumba haram ditangkap mengikut Sekyen 42 Akta Pengangkutan Jalan 1987, dengan Melayu seramai 1,436 orang, Cina (51), India (63) dan kaum lain (tujuh).



Source: Harian Metro

Giant among us

Though the article and images appear to originate from India, FM though this will be of some interest for Malaysian readers.

(Click image to enlarge picture)

FM: So, do you guys think the pictures are real?

China doll cons retiree of RM20,000

FORMER restaurant helper Fung Chee Lum @ Fung Thin had more than breakfast one day in May last year.

As the 75-year-old sipped black coffee in a shop in Petaling Street that morning, a China national approached him and asked him to be her boyfriend.

Shocked, Fung from Puchong, was at first reluctant, citing the fact that he was old, married and had children, although he was not living with his wife.

The 34-year-old, nicknamed Xiao Mao, was persistent and almost every day when Fung had breakfast at the shop, she would be there to woo him.

It was not long before Xiao Mao managed to charm Fung and they became a couple.

Their relationship was a bed of roses until recently, when Fung discovered that not only had Xiao Mao cheated him of his heart, but also more than RM20,000.

Speaking at the MCA Public Services and Complaint Department yesterday, Fung said in January, Xiao Mao went missing.

That was when a man, known as Lau, told him that Xiao Mao had been caught by police for prostitution and was detained at the Semenyih camp.

Sounding helpful, Lau assured Fung that he could help secure her release. But the favour came with a condition — Lau wanted money.

Fung believed Lau because he loved Xiao Mao and was worried about her safety.

For seven months, Fung regularly gave Lau money amounting to RM20,000.

Lau claimed he was well connected with the Immigration Department and he could secure Xiao Mao’s release.

“But Xiao Mao never came back and it dawned on me that I have been cheated.

“They are lovers and had conspired.

“My friends have seen them walking together in Petaling Street and I heard they are now in Penang,” said Fung, adding that Lau’s cell phone has been switched off.

If losing his girlfriend was not bad enough, Fung said he was also lambasted by his friends for believing Xiao Mao and Lau.

“I don’t understand why they did this to me. I loved her and I believed every lie Lau told me.

“Not only have I lost my love, I have also lost RM20,000, which I saved up for my funeral expenses,” said Fung in tears.

Sounding troubled and disheartened, Fung said all he wanted was for Lau to return the money.

Fung said his wife and children are aware of the incident but they could not be bothered.

Source: The Malay Mail

Ah Beng During The 2nd World War

During the Japanese Occupation, 3 Singaporeans, Ah Meng, Ah Seng and Ah Beng were caught for smuggling. They were sentenced to death by firing squad.

That night, Ah Meng came up with a plan. He told the others that the Japanese were afraid of natural disasters. So he would cause them to panic, and escape in the confusion.

The next morning, Ah Meng was led to the wall. The firing squad was lined up and the Captain commanded, "Ready.. Aim..", but before he could complete, Ah Meng shouted, " Earthquake!! Earthquake!" The Japanese soldiers panicked and Ah Meng made his escape.

Later, the soldiers took Ah Seng out and the firing squad were ready. The captain commanded, "Ready... Aim..." This time Ah Seng shouted. " Flood! Flood!!" Again, the Japanese soldiers panicked and this time, Ah Seng made his escape.

Observing all this, Ah Beng began to get the idea. "It's important to get the timing right."

Soon, it was Ah Beng's turn. "Timing, that's the key.." Ah Beng kept saying to himself. The soldiers lined up in front of him. The captain started, "Ready..."

"Timing," Ah Beng thought to himself.

"Aim..."

"Okay," thought Ah Beng, and shouted, " FIRE!!! FIRE!!! "

Change Traffic Lights With A Universal Remote!

That's right! Now you can change traffic lights with just a remote control that can be found at any store, and I'll show you how! For instuctional purposes only.

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4 held over education officer’s murder

COULD he have died over a mere RM100? This is the latest twist in the murder case of Education Ministry assistant director Rashid Sait, who was found stabbed in his home on Aug 14.

Police believe that the amount could have been the source of a misunderstanding between Rashid and the murder suspect.

It is learnt that the suspect, a man in his 20s, fi rst met Rashid in Bandar Sri Permaisuri several months ago. They have been in contact since then and the suspect is believed to have borrowed money from the victim.

The source claimed that on Aug 11, the suspect was believed to have gone to the victim’s unit at Desa Tun Razak Apartment in Cheras.

Rashid is believed to have picked up the suspect at the Bandar Tasik Selatan LRT station after getting a phone call from the latter. En route to the house, they stopped at a fast-food outlet.

It is learnt that at the house, Rashid had asked for his RM100.

The conversation, however, turned into a heated argument.

Since then, the suspect, an employee with an event management company, had gone into hiding in Malacca.

However, following a tip-off, police arrested him and his three friends, all in their 20s, at a bus stop in Masjid Tanah on Tuesday at 3pm.

Cheras police chief Assistant Commissioner Rusli Ahmad (picture) said the four, two of whom are women, were in the victim’s car.

“The Hyundai Atos bore a false number plate. There were several items found with the suspects which were linked to the case,” Rusli told a Press conference yesterday.

None of the four, he said, had a criminal record.

“They are from Malacca but work as odd-job workers in Kuala Lumpur,” he said.

Rusli said although there was no sign of forced entry at the victim’s house, police believe robbery could have been the motive behind the murder.

“There were signs of a fi ght.

“We believe the case has been solved. We are wrapping up the loose ends in the probe before we submit the investigation paper to the deputy public prosecutor’s offi ce,” he said.

Rusli also ruled out the theory that the main suspect was the victim’s mysterious house mate, as claimed by a neighbour.

“He (the suspect) was also not the man who owns a cleaning service company that serviced the deceased’s offi ce in Bukit Kiara.

“They were just helping us with the investigation,” he said.

The four are being remanded until next Wednesday.

Rashid, 37, an Education Technology Division resource management assistant director, was found dead with stab wounds by his colleague at 1.05pm last Tuesday.

The colleague had gone to check on the bachelor at the apartment after he did not turn up for work on Monday.

Police found an eight-inch long knife in the living room, believed to be the murder weapon. There were traces of blood on it.

They also found paper cups and a fast-food box in the house, suggesting that the victim had received guests. The apartment was not ransacked.

A post-mortem revealed that the victim was stabbed four times — on the left and middle sections of his abdomen, as well as on his left arm. His left hand was also slashed.

There were no defensive wounds on the body.

Source: The Malay Mail


Update 1:

Gay lover held over man’s murder

KUALA LUMPUR: The government officer found dead in his apartment in Cheras last week was believed to have been murdered over a RM100 debt.

The suspect, who was arrested yesterday, is also believed to be the victim, Rashid Sait’s gay lover.

Rashid, 37, the assistant director of the technology division of the Kuala Lumpur Education Department, is believed to have met the suspect at an infamous gay haunt in Cheras a few months ago.

They saw each other on several occasions including on Aug 11, when Rashid was last seen alive.

That was also the day when the two bought a meal from a fast-food outlet on the south-bound R&R restaurant near the Sungai Besi toll plaza before proceeding to the victim’s unit at the Desa Tun Razak apartments here.
Rashid was found dead with stab wounds on his chest three days later by two of his colleagues who went to check on him after he failed to turn up for work.

Yesterday, Cheras police chief ACP Rusli Ahmad said they had arrested a man believed to be the main suspect in the murder. Also arrested was his girlfriend and another couple. All four were driving Rashid’s Hyundai Atos car which was fitted with false number plates.

The suspects were detained at a bus stop in Masjid Tanah, Malacca about 3pm on Tuesday. Rusli said all four suspects are from the same village in Malacca.

Police also found some of Rashid’s personal belongings on the suspects.

"The main suspect is a part-time worker in the entertainment industry," Rusli said.

Rusli also confirmed that the man, said to be in his 20s, had known Rashid and that they had gotten into a fight over some money which was owed to the victim. All four suspects have been remanded for eight days to facilitate investigations.

"We believe the case is now solved," Rusli said.

Police had all along believed that Rashid was murdered by someone whom he knew as there was no sign of a break-in at his apartment unit.

There were also signs that victim had shared a meal with the assailant or assailants.

Rashid’s apartment was not ransacked. His wallet was left intact but his car was missing.

Police also found several long-haired wigs, blouses and bras in the apartment, leading police to believe that the victim was a cross-dresser.

A knife, which was believed to be the murder weapon, was also found in the unit.

Source: The New Straits Times

Starting them young - Woman with ‘son’ robs college girl of cellphone

A reader by the moniker, SuperAngler highlighted this funny photo montage from 'Borneo Post Online' to FM's attention.

Woman with ‘son’ robs college girl of cellphone

KUCHING: Most people have read about or heard of robberies committed in the city at knife-point.

A typical story would usually go along the line of “…was robbed by an unidentified man armed with a knife at…”

Yesterday, however, one of those rarest of happenings occurred on Monday night at MJC, Batu Kawa.

A 19-year-old college girl was robbed of her handphone at knife-point by a woman who was accompanied by a little boy.

According to the victim, she was walking to a nearby shop at MJC with two friends for dinner around 8pm when she suddenly felt a sharp object being pointed at her back.

As she slowly turned her head, she saw a woman, whom she described as in her 30s, pointing a kitchen knife at her.

What was even more shocking, said the victim, was the woman was holding onto the hand of a small boy, presumably the woman’s son, who “looked no more than 10 years old”.

Too frightened to move, she stood still as the woman rummaged through her pockets and grabbed her Motorola handset before escaping on foot with the child.

The victim’s two friends, who had been walking slightly in front of her, could also do nothing but watch the whole incident in fear.

The victim, from Kampung Rampangi in Bau, later lodged a police report at the Simpang Tiga police station at midnight accompanied by her mother and brother.

Speaking to reporters, the mother said that her daughter was a tailoring student at an institute located in MJC.

She and her friends were staying at a hostel near the institute.

“This is the first time I have ever heard of such an incident where a mother brings her child along while committing a crime,” said the mother incredulously.

“I fear for my daughter’s safety and I would rather her move back to Bau and make the long commute to attend her classes.”

Still looking visibly shaken by the incident, the victim estimated her loss at RM500.

Source: The Borneo Post Online

Something Smells Familiar by Galvin George Tan

Kenny Sia kannasai again. Poor Kenny. A fellow Malaysian blogger, Galvin George Tan who was on vacation in Pattaya, Thailand spotted this article in there local newspaper. Galvin George Tan wrote:

Excerpts:

"You know the old adage that says "People learn from their mistakes (or the mistakes of others)"? It's not true! Somebody's work just got plagiarized again.

My sis and I picked up a recent newspaper while we were on vacation in Pattaya, Thailand. It's called "Pattaya Today".

It's filled with articles and advertisements that I couldn't care less about. That was until I flipped to a section called "Lighter Side".

How enlightening indeed. Despite being discolored, distorted and cropped, one of the pictures looks too familiar.

Heck! That isn't Pattaya. It looks more like my beloved hometown - Kuching. But that wasn't it. I recognized the picture from somewhere.

Read further Galvin George Tan's blog"

Man shoplifts believing supermarket belongs to him

FM: Tips for those wannabe thieves. If you're caught stealing, just say that you own the supermarket. Check out the story below:

PENANG: He was charged in a magistrate’s court with shoplifting two bottles of gin worth RM91.98 from a supermarket but the 53-year-old man was under the delusion that the supermarket belonged to him.

“I didn’t steal. I heard voices telling me to go and take the bottles. The supermarket is mine, how can that be considered stealing?” claimed Teoh Cheng Peng.

He said this when he was called up Tuesday at a magistrate’s court after a psychiatric report on him was tendered.

Teoh, however, insisted that he wished to plead guilty to the charge of stealing two bottles of Rose Mary Churchill Dry Gin from the Giant supermarket in Penang Plaza, Burmah Road, at 12.35pm on July 2.

This prompted the court to explain to him that his psychiatric report had established he was of unsound mind and unaware of his offence and that he would be sent to stay at the psychiatric hospital.

Teoh was charged on July 3 and court had referred him for psychiatric evaluation.

Teoh also claimed that the “people at Tanjung Rambutan” had beaten him up, to which the court told him that he had the right to lodge a police report.

Prosecuting officer Asst Supt L. Chandkumary informed the court that Teoh had two previous convictions in 1992 and 2006 for shoplifting.

Teoh asked for leniency and to be released soon. He also asked the court to help him contact the State Welfare Department so that the welfare officer who handled his case could bail him out.

“Someone is trying to kill me and has poisoned the water in my tap. I have not gone back to my flat for two months, and the government will take it away from me if I don’t return soon,” he said, adding that his family had rejected him.

Magistrate Ooi Sheow Yean told him the court had no choice but to acquit him and send him to Hospital Bahagia pending an order from the Yang di-Pertua Negri, as provided for under Section 348(1) of the Criminal Procedure Code.

Source: The Star Online

FM: Yeah..righttttt. How convenient!

Malaysia gives medals to disc-sniffers

PUTRAJAYA: It is a dog’s life for disc-sniffing mutts Lucky and Flo.

But what a life! After a hectic round of Asia – starting with Malaysia – and flushing out pirated discs and peddlers in their wake, the four-legged duo are now headed for New York on another tour of duty and then, Toronto.

Celebrity treatment: Flo (left) and Lucky being held by their trainers after putting their paw prints to be preserved yesterday. — Reuters
To top it all, the pair of globetrotting black Labrador Retrievers have received commendation medals from the Government – the first honour ever for the dogs, in fact any dog, in Malaysia – for their “outstanding achievement” in combating piracy.

Typical of celebrities, the dogs even had their paw prints preserved in plaster for posterity.

It almost makes it worth the 10kg each dog has lost since arriving here in March. They each used to weigh about 38kg.

Deputy Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs Minister Datuk S. Veerasingam said: “They are the inspiration for the newly established canine unit in the ministry’s enforcement unit.

“For a start, we have a team of four officers and two dogs to sniff out pirates. These dogs are currently undergoing training.”

Veerasingam had the honour of draping the commendation medals on the dogs that appeared to be pleased judging from their wagging tails.

Since arriving on March 13, Flo and Lucky’s work has resulted in 26 arrests and the seizure of 1.6 million pieces of pirated discs worth some RM22.8mil, three DVD replicating machines, two VCD machines, 97 CD-Recordable burners and 30,000 empty CD-Rs.

Their success in anti-piracy efforts was evident from the RM100,000 bounty placed on their heads and the “tail” put on them by local syndicates since their arrival.

Veerasingam said the dogs had been good visitors to the country. He jokingly added that Malaysia would have accorded them permanent residency, only they did not apply for it.

The canines’ biggest bust was on March 19 in Johor Baru, when they led officers to a cache of one million pirated discs worth RM10mil.

Trained to detect the presence of polycarbonate and other chemicals in the discs, the dogs took only about 10 minutes to check boxes that security officials would need a day to examine.

Motion Picture Association Asia-Pacific director for operations Edward Neubronner said anti-piracy efforts had clearly boosted local cinema.

“In 2004, there were 59 cinemas with 216 movie screens. Now, we have 71 cinemas with 326 screens. This year’s top three movies grossed more than RM10mil in box-office takings,” he said.

Source: The Star Online

FM: Congrats Lucky & Flo for a job well done.

Your handphone will tell on you

KUALA LUMPUR: He was enjoying a "dirty" weekend while his wife was away.

He was cocooned in a hotel room with his mistress, blissfully unaware that the game was up.

When he returned home here on Monday, his wife was waiting — with the divorce papers.

The man, who thought he had covered his tracks, had not reckoned with software which can hack into mobile phones.

His wife had enlisted the help of a "black hacker" to listen to her husband’s intimate conversations with his mistress.
According to Sanjay Bavisi, president of the International Council of E-Commerce Consultants, the RM700 software helped nab the husband.

"She was suspicious but had no concrete evidence of his infidelity. Until she contacted a black hacker, who told her about the software," said the information security expert.

The European software, available over the Internet, was used to download a "bug" into the husband’s phone.

After that, she could control the phone via a computer.

"She recorded their conversations and he had no clue someone was listening in."

Welcome to the latest hacking technology where even the mobile phone is not spared.

The "spying" software is one of several in the market which can turn your mobile phone into a technological "snitch", recording and transmitting conversations through remote sensors.

The technical wizardry does not stop with hacking: The software can turn on the phone’s camera, snapping pictures or videotaping events.

All the while, the phone owner remains clueless.

Within minutes after the software is downloaded, the hacker can receive copies of SMS, call logs, emails, locations and eavesdrop on conversations.

The process of downloading is so simple, a hacker may borrow your phone for a few minutes and return it "hacked". Read further...

Source: The New Straits Times

Canadian teen fends off attack by cabbies

FM: In the Spirit of Visit Malaysia 2007 and in conjuction of Malaysia's 5oth year of Independence, our cab drivers in Kuala Lumpur had showered a teenage Canadian on holiday here, the real meaning of "Malaysia, Truly Asia" & "To Know Malaysia is to Love Malaysia".

KUALA LUMPUR: When the taxi driver he hailed refused to use the meter, a Canadian decided against using the taxi. For doing so, the driver and three others attacked him with batons and bamboo sticks.

However, the four were unable to prevail against the burly 17-year-old Julian Sebastian Beh Pold, who managed to fend them off and escaped with just a few bruises.

Julian who weighs 114kg and stands 1.83m, plays American football at his school in Quebec.

Julian said he was in Petaling Street with some friends on Friday night when he decided to take a cab home.

“When the driver refused to use the meter, I got out of the cab and slammed the door telling him that what he was doing was against the law.

“Later, he came back with three of his friends and scolded me for slamming his door claiming I had damaged his taxi.”

Julian, who is holidaying here, said they then attacked him with batons and bamboo sticks.

His friend, Dennis Barry, who witnessed the incident called the police immediately.

Julian said he did not retaliate and only blocked the attacks because he did not want to be blamed for being the aggressor if he had fought back.

Julian’s father, Robert Beh, said the company that owned the taxi had been identified.

Commercial Vehicle Licensing Board chairman Datuk Markiman Kobiran said he would look into the incident.

Source: The Star Online

Ah Beng in Public

1. Taking out more thigh space than usual.
2. When sitting down, one would open his legs like tua bek kong, resulting in less than normal leg room for others. In the end we look like virgins and they look like pros.
3. People rushing into an already packed train
   It is almost like a horror movie. The train is already fking full and just when u think that is the worse, another train arrive and the interchange. It doesn't help that he/she smells
4. When sitting, someone 'kiao ka' (cross his/her legs)
   and the sole keep rubbing on to your clothing. knn seriously no manners!
   
5. People using his HandPhone(HP) macham like remote control
   Esp for 'trend setters' or haolian kias, like to show off his/her phone. Keep moving the hp ard when messaging, macham its remote control cannot have signal. nb
6. Using HP ringtone like radio.
   Playing HP ringtone again and again and again and again. For mono ring tones you look just plain suaku so stop it!
7. Acting like surgeons.
   I sure u see, esp middle age ladies, that like to put a tissue or cover his/her mouth or/and nose with tissue paper. Macham we are the only one with germs. Worse is when there is no one coughing, sneezing, and the odour probably come from the 'surgeons' themselves.
   
8. People entering the train blocking the exit
   If you don't let me come out how are you going to go in? :confused: This is becoming a national issue. Happens very often in lifts as well!!!

I’m an embarassment to my country by Kimberlycun

Malaysian Funny Gal decided to take a photo of herself while she was 'intoxicated'. Kimberlycun wrote:

Excerpts:

Everyone knows I can’t drink. I get sleepy, I puke and I get obnoxious.

Very obnoxious. Read further...

FM: Don't drink and...Dress hah hah!

Teacher tears ‘too short’ baju kurung uniforms

KOTA KINABALU: What should be the correct length of a baju kurung uniform for students?

Can teachers tear the uniform if it is short?

Sabah Umno Youth is asking these questions after a teacher in the east coast Beluran agricultural district tore the baju kurung uniforms of 13 secondary students as she found them too short.

The wing’s state education bureau chairman, Abdul Wahab Gani, said the Education Department should explain if there were any regulations that stipulated the length of the traditional Malay attire used by students.

“A question of how short or how long a baju kurung uniform is not stipulated under the Education Ministry’s regulations or by the state Education Department.

“It only states the type of cloth to be used.”

Abdul Wahab said that disciplinary action should be taken against the teacher.

Declining to name the school, he said that the parents of the students highlighted the issue to the bureau after little was done by the school or department to clarify the matter to them.

Source: The Star Online

FM: The action of the teacher is really silly. If the 'Baju Kurung' is short, why in the heck tear the 'Baju Kurung' to make it shorter. Really puzzling!

How to Argue With Females

Step 1. Abandon all logic. Girls don't use it, and you certainly shouldn't allow it to handicap you.

Step 2. If you believe strongly in something, do NOT give in to any aspect of it. Compromise is useless against girls, because they will rationalize that if they can get you to concede to one element, they can get you to quit on the whole fuckin' Periodic Table. (Nothing like a little chemistry humor, right?)

Step 3. Don't be afraid to take cheap shots. Ever argue with a girl about something and they randomly insult you with something that has no relevance to the argument? That's their way of trying to wear you down and push you off-topic. Fight fire with fire, I say. Tell her she has a fat ass, small boobs, an ugly face, disorienting facial hair, unwieldy hips, and is a genuinely awful person.

Step 4. Cite precedent. Girls have no concept of historical factors relating to the current situation. Most girls reading this just went over to dictionary.com to see what "precedent" meant.

Step 5. Interrupt her. Don't let her talk. Girls hate that like they hate other girls. It's hilarious, too. They get all frazzled.

Step 6. Don't take her seriously. Laugh at every point she deems serious in nature. Fart, if possible. Derail her emotional train.

Step 7. If the argument escalates, cut off all communication with her. If a girl can't find you, she can't continue arguing about bullshit. Change your phone number, relocate, and get a name change if you must.

Step 8. Don't be fooled by "Let's stop arguing please." That's their way of making you let your guard down, so they can swoop in after you're worn down. Instead, say something like "Yeah, all this being right is exhausting for me." Pisses them off. Just trust me.

Step 9. Compare her unfavorably with another girl. This is especially effective if the comparison is with a girl that they simply abhor. Tell her something like, "Lisa is so much more compassionate than you." Girls hate other girls, like a deer hates a shotgun. And how do you take down a deer? Exactly.

Step 10. Don't be intimidated by the water works. That's their ultimate contingency, knowing that guys can't deal with a crying girl. Stay strong, don't let yourself get emotional, just think of something funny. Replay scenes from "Office Space" in your head if you must.

Step 11. Bust out, "I don't feel like fighting. I've proven my point." Then stop. Leave the argument. It pisses them off because a guy's natural reaction is to resolve, whereas a girl's is to continue forever and ever until the end of time until they hear that they are right. If a guy decides that he is right and won't budge, their whole concept of male-female relations is shot to shit. Again, mind games.

Step 12. Ask her if she's on the rag. Self-explanatory.

Step 13. When all else fails, tell her she's just like her mother. It's an ace-in-the-hole and will emotionally cripple her to such a degree she may even forget her whole argument. Remember, girls are the less intelligent of the genders. All throughout history men have out-thought, out-invented, and out-created women in every facet of existence. Isn't it about time we won an argument for once? Gentlemen, that time is now.

Upgrading from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 - System Error, Please Reboot!

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother- in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support

‘Inseparable’ couple referred to hospital for separation

Husband said to have asked bomoh to ‘lock’ wife’s body when she committed adultery

SIBU: A couple was said to have sought medical help last Saturday after their bodies became “inseparable” in an intimate relationship while they were romancing at a beach in Mukah last Saturday night.

In the romantic affair, the couple was said to have become helpless, and when they found no way to separate their bodies, they called for help from a friend.

Their friend came to wrap them in a ‘sarung’ and send them to the hospital in Mukah. The hospital in the coastal town referred the couple to Sibu.

The medical staff members here were informed of the incident, but in their journey to the hospital here, the bodies of the couple ‘loosened up’, and the vehicle that took them here turned back to their hometown.

Following the incident, the news spread in Mukah. Some curious readers even called the reporters for confirmation of the case.

A medical staff member here, who refused to reveal his identity, said they did receive the notification of the referral case from Mukah, “but the locked-together couple did not turn up”.

According to a source, the man and the woman were both in their 30s. It was said that they were both married.

When the husband of the woman was out of town last weekend, the couple got together for a night of romance.

The source also claimed that the husband of the woman had earlier been suspicious of his wife whenever he was not in town.

To catch her in the act, he was said to have sought help from a bomoh to “lock her body up with the man” when they committed adultery.

Chairman of Malaysia Medical Association, Sibu Sub-branch Dr Hu Chang Hock, when contacted, confirmed that such cases known medically as varinismus did occur, but the occurrences were rare.

“It normally happens when the couple making love are psychologically anxious. For example, the situation could happen when a couple is having an illegitimate affair.”

He said before the occurrence, there was a painful vaginal muscle contraction and spasm, “and this virtually locks the two bodies together, making them inseparable.”

On ways to avoid it, he said the advice should come from a psychologist.

On medical treatment, he said the woman could be given muscle relaxant injection to let the muscles in her body relax.

He said no such case had ever been referred to him.

Source: The Borneo Post Online

Reason Behind The Recent Condemnation Against Bloggers by Kenny Sia

Malaysian Funny Blogger extraordinaire wrote this hilarious blog on socio-political bloggers. Kenny Sia wrote:

Excerpts:

My mom walked into my room one day and threw a copy of the newspaper onto my table.

"KENNY! Explain to me what this is all about. Why are all these bloggers getting arrested?! Even the Prime Minister also come out and give warning to bloggers! You better be careful what you write on your blog ah!"

Bloggers have been appearing in the newspaper left right and centre lately. Not necessarily for good reasons.

.....

What's the big idea?

The most obvious thing these four bloggers all have in common is that they are all considered socio-political bloggers. Unlike Kenny Sia, these guys don't write about how the logo of some bank resemble a penis, or how some metallic bird in Kuching was equipped flashing neon lights.

These guys write the serious stuff.

Which is why as much as there are different theories thrown around about the sudden wave of condemnation against bloggers, the most logical assumption is this simple fact - elections are coming.

.....

Perhaps the officials have another reason to be even MORE afraid when Jeff Ooi announced recently that he is crossing over into politics. He will be contesting in the next General Elections as part of the Opposition.

This is big news. In fact, this is HUGE news.

This is the first time in Malaysian history that a popular blogger will be competing in an election. This is the first time a socio-political blogger might actually end up becoming a member of the Malaysian parliament.

......

Now, this is just a suggestion. But if Jeff wants to run a campaign to woo younger voters in the upcoming elections, I think I might have a solution for it.

Behold, my 'suggested' campaign video for Jeff Ooi's upcoming parliamentary election. Sure, it's a little rough around the edges. Hey, I'm not Namewee. What matters is that it comes from the heart.

Read further...

Cabinet rejects apology from Negaraku rapper

KUALA LUMPUR: The Cabinet has not accepted student Wee Meng Chee’s apology for the furore caused by his Negaraku rap videoclip on video-sharing web portal YouTube.

Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Datuk Seri Mohamed Nazri Abdul Aziz said the Cabinet had decided yesterday that they were not in the position to forgive him and that “the law would have to take its course”.

“The offence was not against the Prime Minister or ministers concerned but against the nation,” Nazri told reporters after the launch of the International Conference on Media and Information Warfare: A Global Challenge of the 21st Century here.

“If he had committed an offence, which I think was an offence, then we must allow the Attorney General to investigate and decide whether to take him to court,” he said.

Wee had on Tuesday apologised for the parody and agreed to remove the videoclip from his blog.

Nazri said Wee’s apology could be used as mitigation in sentencing but not as a reason to not prosecute him.

“To not prosecute him is not ‘on’ at all because he has committed an offence against the nation and no one, not the Cabinet or political parties, are in the position to forgive him,” he said.

Wee could be charged under the Sedition Act because he had insulted the symbol of the nation, he said.

“We cannot be like the West where you can have the underwear with the design of the Union Jack. In Britain, you can insult the Queen or the flag, I don’t care, but in this country we have laws and we cannot create a precedent where you commit an offence, apologise and get away with it,” he said adding that Wee was not a boy but a 24-year-old man and he should be held responsible for the act.

“It is not an issue of ethnicity or being racial but against national interest,” he said.

When asked how Wee had insulted the national anthem, Nazri said the song was supposed to be sung based on how it should be sung, otherwise, it would mean insulting the song, especially when the lyrics were changed.

“Malaysia Negaraku ku. 'Ku ku' can also mean ‘cuckoo’ so it was insulting. I don’t think this was done out of ignorance. He was a university student and he meant to insult the national song,” he said.

On whether Wee would be called home to answer charges against him, Nazri said the AG would have to investigate and if he comes to the decision to prosecute him, then when Wee returns, he would have to face the charges.

He also said that he wanted action to be taken against video-sharing portal YouTube and other bloggers who have allowed sensitive material to be published that went against the law of our country.

Source: The Star Online

Related Story: Student rapper apologises

Dress code for singers

PENANG: Hotpants are okay but not halter-necks, bikini tops or see-through outfits.

This is the new dress code for ko tai (in Hokkien, stage performance) girls who perform stage shows here during the Hungry Ghosts festival.

At least 150 modern stage shows and opera performances on makeshift stages will be held throughout Penang during the festival that began on Monday and will end on Sept 10.

The young and pretty singers are a crowd puller here as they belt out the latest hits and dance to fast-paced and loud music at the modern stage shows.

Penang Teong Guan Association chairman Lim Yam Koi, who co-ordinates the festival, has however warned show organisers to keep tabs on the outfits worn by female performers.

“In the past, there were cases where ko tai girls wore see-through outfits without undergarments to spice up their acts.

“Although we have not received complaints on scantily dressed female singers for the past three years, I have instructed all members to monitor the performances,” he said yesterday.


“Singers and dancers will be advised not to wear tube-tops, bare-backs and bikini-like outfits on stage. Hot pants are okay,” he said.

The Taoists believe that the Gates of Hell are open during the seventh lunar month, freeing the spirits of the underworld for the duration. Stage performances and sumptuous feasts are held for the benefit of the deities and spirits.

Penang Municipal Council president Datuk Zainal Rahim Seman said permits issued to organisers for the celebration clearly stated that female performers should be properly dressed.

“We will move in if we receive complaints of female singers or dancers who wear skimpy outfits. We will act accordingly, including revoking their permits for the stage shows,” he said.

Lim said a total 216 ko tai committees had registered with the association this year and they intended to raise RM1mil for SRJK (C) Chong Teik in Balik Pulau.

“Last year, we raised RM1.53mil for Convent Datuk Keramat’s school building fund.

“This year, Mandarin Hotel in Betong, Thailand, is sponsoring 300 rooms. The vouchers will be distributed to the committees as lucky draw prizes during their dinner celebrations,” he added.


Source: The Star Online

Sex clip of teen with cop causes stir in Raub

KUALA LUMPUR: A video clip depicting a 14-year-old girl having sex with a 46-year-old extra police constable is believed to be circulating in Raub, Pahang.

When the girl’s father heard about the clip being passed around, he lodged a police report and the man, who does carpentry work at a police station, was arrested.

An extra police constable does odd jobs like carpentry and chauffeuring.

They do not get involved in operational matters even though they are full-time policemen with a fixed salary, which is less than ordinary constables.

It is learnt the man, with the rank of L/Kpl, was picked up from his house in Raub last Friday.

The girl is alleged to have had an affair with the man for several months and she only informed her mother about the relationship after a friend told her about the video clip.

Pahang CID chief Asst Comm T. Narenasegaran confirmed police had arrested the man for alleged statutory rape. A one-week remand order has been obtained to facilitate investigations.

Source: The Star Online
Pic: File Photo

'Dentist' nabbed after 29 years

KUALA LUMPUR: He was a dentist for the last 29 years, but his career ended yesterday when he was nabbed by health officers.

The 63-year-old man never studied dentistry. The closest he came to the profession was between 1962 and 1978 when he would assist an army dentist by carrying his bag during visits to Felda settlements, for which he was paid a daily wage of RM7.

"I watched the doctor diagnose and treat problems with teeth. I also saw how he would extract teeth and make models and measurements for dentures to replace missing teeth," he said when he was arrested for practising dentistry illegally at his flat in Taman Jinjang Baru, Jinjang, here.

His treatment room, equipped with a dental chair and other paraphernalia, is located next to the kitchen of the ground floor unit.

"I also make house visits," he said.
The raiding party, which was acting on a tip-off, comprised officers of the Health Ministry and Federal Territory Health Department as well as men from Jinjang police.

Among the items seized from the premises were antibiotics, painkillers, syringes and bottles containing Chinese medicine.

One of the neighbours said she had always thought that the man was a retired army dentist.

"That is what he made us believe," said the neighbour, who declined to give her name.

According to her, many people had sought treatment from him and from what she heard, he charged RM20 for extraction and more than RM100 for dentures.

The man remained calm during the raid and the subsequent interrogation.

He said he made dentures for RM130 and that most of his clients paid the money in instalments.

"There are some who never pay me and they threaten me when I ask them for money," he said.

Asked why he did not seek work as a dentist’s assistant, he said: "I did inquire, but they said I am too old."

To another question, he said he got the dental chair in 1978 when the army wanted to throw it away.

"I took it and modified it," he said, adding that the chair was more than 60 years old and was an antique.

It took more than six men to carry it out of the flat.

The Health Ministry’s medical practice director Dr Mohd Khairi Yakub said the bogus dentist would be charged under the Private Healthcare Facilities and Services Act, where he is liable to a fine of up to RM300,000 or a maximum six years’ jail or both upon conviction.

He said there could be more people passing off as dentists.

"But it will not be long before we catch up with them," he added.

Source: The New Straits Times

Types of men at the loo

FM: The next time you visit Public Urinal, here is a guide to a person's personality by the way he pissed.

1) Excitable -- Shorts half-twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.

2) Sociable -- Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.

3) Cross-eyed -- Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.

4) Timid -- Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.

5) Indifferent -- All urinals being used, pisses in sink.

6) Clever -- No hands, fixes tie, looks around, usually pisses on floor.

7) Worried -- Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.

8) Frivolous -- Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to hit flies and bugs.

9) Absent-Minded -- Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.

10) Childish -- Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.

11) Sneaky -- Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in other stall will be blamed.

12) Patient -- Stands very close for a long time, reads with free hand.

13) Desperate -- Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.

14) Tough -- Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry.

15) Efficient -- Waits until he has to crap and does both.

16) Fat -- Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in shower.

17) Little -- Stands on box, falls in, drowns.

18) Drunk -- Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.

19) Disgruntled -- Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.

20) Conceited -- Holds two-inch dick like baseball bat.