Dear Ah Beng: Got this creepy guy want to give me $100,000

Dear Ah Beng,

Got this creepy guy hor, come and approach me when I was sitting at Burger King and say he would give me $100,000 if I go and kill his wife leh. I think it's not a very nice thing to do, but then, I donno his wife, and the money is si beh solid. How? Should I do it?

Teenager

Dear Teenager,

I never understand why people want to kill their wife. Si beh leceh one. If you not happy with your marriage is very simpur one. Just go Chow Kit and find some GRO in a KTV lounge, and everything is gau timm. But I agree, $100,000 is a lot of money.

I have a better suggestion. Why don't you go and tell his wife about it, then ask how much she wants for you to kill him? After all he sounds like an asshole. If he finds out, then up the price. And say if he doesn't pay, you'll tell the police. Simpur-simpur, and you don't have to kill anybody.

Ah Beng