This is one of the reason why Tun Dr. Mahathir is pushing Malaysian to improve their command of English.
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Snippets of funny & quirky news, blogs and jokes from Malaysia
This is one of the reason why Tun Dr. Mahathir is pushing Malaysian to improve their command of English.
JOHOR BARU: A welder who tried to elongate his penis with a nut found himself in a pickle when the nut got stuck after he had an erection.
The victim, from Taman Sri Skudai, had apparently been trying to increase the length of his penis ahead of his engagement next week when disaster struck.
It is learnt that the incident occurred on Thursday and the 20-something-year-old victim went to the Sultanah Aminah Hospital here to seek treatment when he was unable to get the nut off himself.
Unfortunately, hospital authorities were at a loss and had to call the Fire and Rescue Department for assistance.
A department spokesman confirmed that they received a call from the hospital yesterday, and sent seven firemen to help out.
They, too, were unable to remove the nut.
At press time, the nut was still firmly attached to the base of the man’s genitals.
This is the second case in the past week involving objects stuck on penises. On Aug 25, firemen were summoned to the University Malaya Medical Centre in Kuala Lumpur to cut a steel ring from a patient’s penis after numerous attempts by doctors failed to dislodge it. It is believed the patient, in his 20s, had slipped the ring onto his penis to increase his sexual prowess.
Source: The Star OnlineGuys,
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PORNOGRAPHIC dolls, which can cost up to RM200 each, have flooded the local market and are being snapped up by well-off young collectors.
Harian Metro reported that collecting these dolls was a hobby to some, especially children from wealthy homes, according to the Home Ministry Quranic text control division central enforcement unit head Mohd Rizal Abidin.
The dolls were being sold in shopping malls in the Klang Valley.
“The traders told us that most of these dolls are popular with teenagers who bought them for their own private collection, or as gifts for their friends.
“Action has to be taken as such pornographic dolls affect society’s moral values,” he said after raiding several premises which sold such dolls in Bukit Bintang, Subang Jaya, Petaling Jaya and Brickfields since last Monday.
Mohd Rizal said they confiscated 114 dolls valued at about RM10,000.
KUALA LUMPUR: Sexual gratification is one of the three main factors why fraud takes place.
GEORGE TOWN: For the Hungry Ghosts festival this year, a temple here has prepared something special for the earthquake and cyclone victims of Sichuan, China and Myanmar – two luxury condominium towers.
The 5.5m-high paper effigy, along with other offerings, were burnt outside the Lebuhraya Jelutong temple yesterday in line with the Chinese belief that those in the afterlife would receive them.
“We wanted to do something special this year, so when the temple committee asked for a effigy design, I came up with a condo concept. This way, there is a lot of space for all the victims to have a home,” said Teong Leng Keong temple secretary Ong Ooi Huan, 50.
“The earthquake and cyclone victims have been added to the list of people that temple devotees are praying for, so we hope this offering will do something to appease their souls,” Ong said, adding that the effigy took two weeks to make.
A contractor by profession, Ong said he based the design on a super condominium on the island which has been dubbed Penang’s “mini Petronas Twin Towers.”
It took eight people to move the structure, which was built complete with a three-storey basement car park and swimming pool.
The bright blue effigy was then set alight alongside two 3m-high kim chua (joss-paper) structures created by visiting Thai devotees.
“Thai devotees have been invited to celebrate the Hungry Ghost festival at this temple annually for the last five years.
“It’s great to visit the island and be able to help out in the celebration,” said Thai national Lau Siew Mei, 55.
Source: The Star Online
School:
A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.
Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse:
A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.! :
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
RAWANG: Police have busted a drug syndicate with a laboratory located some 600m from the Batang Kali police station.
The laboratory is the largest uncovered in Selangor so far this year.
Police arrested three suspected drug traffickers, aged between 45 and 54, and seized the synthetic drug syabu with a street value of more than RM1.1mil.
The suspects were in the midst of processing the drugs when police raided a single-storey house at a housing estate in Kampung Baru Cina at about 7pm on Monday.
Police staked out the house for two days before storming the property.
Among the items found were 1kg of partially-processed syabu. Chemicals and precursors found included four barrels of an unknown liquid, chloroform and acid. Two cars were also seized.
State Narcotics Crime Investigations Department chief Asst Comm Nordin Kadir said the syndicate had enough materials to produce 5kg of syabu.
He said police were unsure how long the group had been active but believed it had constantly been on the move to avoid detection.
The suspects have been remanded for three days under the Dangerous Drugs Act.
Source: The Star Online
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