Syabu lab near police station busted

RAWANG: Police have busted a drug syndicate with a laboratory located some 600m from the Batang Kali police station.

The laboratory is the largest uncovered in Selangor so far this year.

Police arrested three suspected drug traffickers, aged between 45 and 54, and seized the synthetic drug syabu with a street value of more than RM1.1mil.

The suspects were in the midst of processing the drugs when police raided a single-storey house at a housing estate in Kampung Baru Cina at about 7pm on Monday.

Police staked out the house for two days before storming the property.

Among the items found were 1kg of partially-processed syabu. Chemicals and precursors found included four barrels of an unknown liquid, chloroform and acid. Two cars were also seized.

State Narcotics Crime Investigations Department chief Asst Comm Nordin Kadir said the syndicate had enough materials to produce 5kg of syabu.

He said police were unsure how long the group had been active but believed it had constantly been on the move to avoid detection.

The suspects have been remanded for three days under the Dangerous Drugs Act.

Source: The Star Online

WARNING: New Diseases In Malaysia

FM: I received this email from a friend of mine. Enjoy!


The Malaysian Ministry of Health is now asking the public to be on the lookout for symptoms of the following new contagious diseases.


ASSMA
Severe rashes around the mouth caused by kissing too much ass. The number-one disease in Malaysia amongst civil servants.



DIALARRHOEA
Uncontrollable urge to continually dial friends on mobile phone to share with them such important information as 'I'm now on the monorail' or 'I'm walking towards the car.' Victims can be recognized by large, twitching thumb.



MEESLES
Blotchy skin condition caused by eating too many packets of instant noodles.



MULTIPLE SPOUSOSIS
Affliction whereby victims make frequent trips to Vietnam, Thailand, Indonesia, and China to take on additional brides. Middle-aged men are at significant risk.



YELLOW FEVER
Compulsion to date Asian females. Very common affliction amongst foreign celebrities and caucasian expatriates working in Malaysia. Also known as Pinkerton's Disease.



EKOR-TOTONUS
Flushed complexion, high blood pressure and sometimes depression at finding out one has not won any gaming numbers and lotteries.



HEAVYTITIS
Excessively large breasts. This disease comes in several variant strains…….. Heavytitis A; Heavytitis B; Heavytitis C, and sometimes Heavytitis DD.



CYBERTENSION
Feelings of stress and panic caused by lack of internet access.



DYEBETES
A compulsive need to colour one's hair. Reddish brown tints are the most common symptom, but health authorities have reported a new strain of blond highlights.



CHICKEN TOX
Victims exhibit a great need to tokkok. Highly contagious. Spread by ordinary conversation, and may be exacerbated by good food and alcohol. Politicians and lawyers are especially susceptible. Incurable.



ITCHINIA
The urge in some men after reaching 40 to go for young chicks. This disease spreads fast among those with money and position and cuts across both government and business people. Beware of those who take trips out under the pretext of duty or business. This is a dangerous symptom that the disease may already have taken hold.

1 million hits for Dr M's blog in just 30 days

PETALING JAYA: Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad's blog, www.chedet.com has hit over one million hits in just 30 days.

The former premier started his blog on May 1 to pen his thoughts and opinions, which has also included criticisms of Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

His blog named Dr Mahathir Mohamad had over 985,000 visitors on Thursday, a figure that has jumped to 1,015,766 at 12.50pm Friday. Also listed on his blog are event updates and related newspaper articles.

Congratulatory comments poured in for Dr Mahathir for the one million hit with some calling him "an official millionaire now."

Recently, Dr Mahathir posted his frustrations with Umno and claimed he was not treated as a member before he resigned. He also claimed that Umno was heading down the path of destruction if the current leadership and mentality did not change.

Source: The Star Online

This is what Tun Mahathir has to say about him in The Millionaire Club:

"Touching one million hits among bloggers seem to be something to be celebrated. I was told that most bloggers will congratulate each other when one of them hits the million mark, and call the one millionaire.

Some bloggers have described my achieving the million mark within a month of my first posting as something phenomenal; one even suggested that it may be a world record of sorts.

I do not know whether it is.

To me, what is more important is that I have managed to generate enough interest to get that kind of traffic in my blog.

It is quite an experience to be a blogger even though I am only a month-old.
Much as I saw the importance of cyberspace during my tenure as Prime Minister and hence my commitment to the setting up of Cyberjaya and pursuing the Multi-media Super Corridor (MSC), I did not envisage that I would one day be a blogger.

I note that now the government has recognised the importance of the blogs. It is proposing to have its own blog. But more importantly the mainstream media are now quoting from the blog and even dare to write on formerly forbidden subjects.

This is to be expected as many people no longer read the mainstream papers or watch television. The NST circulation has been reduced to an average of 135,000 daily including free and discounted copies for hotels, schools and airlines.

Unless there is instruction to spin news from certain quarters, the mainstream media might become irrelevant." Source: Chedet.com

'Oral Me' toothpaste

What's in the name?

A toothpaste sold at a hypermarket here, has raised a few eyebrows as well as having drawn laughter as its brand name was considered to be rather suggestive by some people.

The brand? 'Oral-Me'.

The product is a toothpaste manufactured by a Kulim, Kedah, based company.

Melissa Leong, 28, from Sabah, felt the brand name carried sexual connotation.

"Manufacturers should think twice when naming their products," she said.
Kuala Lumpur based advertising executive Martin Voon asked if the manufacturer understood the phrase while coining the brand name.

"I'm shocked. Such words are normally found on a spoof,” he said.

Kieran Sharkey, an English teacher in a college, said the name does not carry a positive connotation and could be misconstrued.

"With the amount of information available to the younger generation, I feel they can interpret it wrongly. Manufacturers should be careful otherwise they will be made fun of," he laughed.

The company could not be reached for comment.

Source: The New Straits Times

FM: Kenny Sia wrote a blog on this faux pas few months ago. The images below are from his blog. Read his blog

Malaysian English vs British English

Who says our English is teruk. Ours is simple,short,concise, straight-to-point and very effective.

etc. The English did invent the English Language, but they cannot use it economically when communicating their intentions. Compare these phrases that Malaysians and Britons use to say the same thing: So, why make things so confusing and waste of money when you are and a long distance call.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hallo, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Malaysians:No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysians: Doe-waaaan!

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians: Shaddap lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?

Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.

Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Malaysians: Wat happen Why lidat????ADUI!!! (jumping to conclusion)

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you.

Malaysians:Hoi!!!u pig ar lidat also doe no how to do!!!!

WHEN SOMEONE PISS YOU OFF
Britons: That's a terrible thing you did...I am very disappointed with you

Malaysians: CHI-BAI!!

Malaysian Sues: Refuses Iraq Duty

LOS ANGELES: A Malaysian-born US Army soldier has launched a legal bid to prevent being sent to Iraq, claiming deployment to the war zone would conflict with his religious beliefs, lawyers said on Friday.

Calvin Lee Chee Keong, a 26-year-old Malaysian who has permanent residency in the United States, said in a lawsuit filed here that he had been duped into joining the military by recruiters in 2004.

Lee, a Buddhist, said he had been told he would never have to leave the United States during his three years' military service or go to war, lawyers for the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) said.

However, he sought conscientious objector status after discovering that his service was being extended and his unit was being deployed to Iraq, the ACLU said in a statement.

“Every action of killing is so evil and wrong, I don’t want to do any evil things and see any suffering happening right in front of my eyes,” Lee said in the statement.

The Department of the Army rejected his conscientious objector application without explanation despite recommendations for his release by army officers, a chaplain and a mental health specialist, the ACLU said.

“Based on the record, the army has no basis in fact and no good reason to refuse Calvin’s application,” said Deborah Karpatkin, Lee’s attorney.

“As Calvin wrote in his CO application, he learned in the army that America is about seeking religious freedom.”

A spokesman for the army declined to comment.

Lee, who is currently assigned to the 58th Combat Engineer Company based at Fort Irwin, California, joined the army in 2004 after a recruiter approached him at a job fair in San Francisco, the ACLU said. Despite his uneasiness, Lee continued to work, turning down promotions in rank and salary as he felt his faith required, the ACLU said.

By November, Lee applied to a Malaysian temple to live as a monk after the end of his army service, which was originally scheduled for September, the ACLU said. But in December, the army informed Lee that his term of service was being extended and his unit would be deployed to Iraq.

Source: The Star Online, AFP

Malaysian in space

BAIKONUR (Kazakhstan): At exactly 9.23pm (Malaysian time), the Soyuz -FG rocket launcher blasted off from the Baikonur Cosmodrome.

The rocket launcher, carrying the Soyuz TMA-II spacecraft with Malaysian cosmonaut Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor and his crew members on board, lit up the clear night sky.

Witnesses to the event from the launch view, three kilometres away from the launch pad, felt the ground shake from the enormous thrust of the launcher.

VIPs and guests who witnessed the launch included Dr Sheikh Muszaphar’s proud parents Datuk Sheikh Mustapha Shukor and Datin Zuraida Sheikh Ahmad.

Dr Sheikh Muszaphar, Nasa’s commander Peggy Whitson - the first female International Space Station (ISS) commander - and Russian Yuri Malechencko comprise Expedition 16S, which will make a trip to the ISS and return on Oct 21.

Some two hours before the launch, all communication systems (telephone lines, mobile telephone lines and TV) were cut off in Baikonur to block the airwaves and ensure contact with the crew was not disrupted in any way. A blackout was also experienced as the power supply was drained by the launch.

During the launch, road and rail traffic were also halted as a safety measure.

The crews' big day began when they walked out of the Cosmonaut Hotel, which is not a guest hotel but actually a branch of the Gagarin Cosmonaut Training Centre where they were quarantined.

They boarded a bus that took them to the launch pad, seven hours prior to the launch. On the bus, they watched a 10-minute video of their friends and families wishing them bon voyage.

The bus stopped midway for a ritual that has been performed by cosmonauts since the time of Yuri Gagarin – the male crew urinated on the bus tyres.

At the launch pad, they made their “last walk”, which was the last chance for family members and people to see them from a distance at the Cosmodrome.

The three put on their custom-made Sukol space suit before they went through a formal military ceremony and shook hands with important guests, including the Prime Minister of Kazakhstan, Russian Federal Space Agency chief Perminov Anatoli Nikolaevich, Kazakh Space Agency chief Musabaev Talgat Amangeldievish and Malaysian Ambassador to Russia Datuk Mohamad Khalis Ali Hassan.

About four hours to the launch, the crew were hoisted to the capsule using an elevator. They were strapped to their seats and went through system checks.

Forty-five minutes to the launch, the rocket’s service gantry was removed, the flight programme loaded and the crews' space suits were checked for air tightness.

Unlike a shuttle launch, the Soyuz rocket launch has no countdown - blast off occurs when everything is in place and set to go.

The rocket’s four lateral boosters were started 29 seconds to launch. Then it was blast off, during which the gravity pull was 4G.

The rocket shot up at a speed of 800km per second to reach orbit in two minutes.

Two minutes into launch, the four lateral boosters were jettisoned, and the gravity pull was reduced to 1.5G.

When the core stage engine fired at full thrust, gravity force climbed to 3G.

Third-stage separation occurred at 8.48 seconds into launch, when the space capsule was fully separated.

It took about nine minutes for Soyuz to enter zero gravity, after which it will orbit the earth for two days before docking with the ISS, a process that will take two to three hours.

Prior to docking, the cosmonauts will be strapped to their seats the entire time.

Once in orbit, the mission will be taken over by the Mission Control Centre in Moscow.

Source: The Star Online

FM: Safe Journey...

On A Lighter Note...

Joke 1: Malaysian in Space : Selection Process

Dr. Mahathir was about to send the first Malaysian rocket into space.

3 potential astronauts were called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay and one Chinese.

Dr. M interviews the Indian first: "So, Muthu, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid for it?"

Muthu thinks to himself and says, "1 million ringgit."
"Why so much?" asks Dr. M.
"Nowadays toddy wery expensive, Datuk..." replies Muthu.
"I see," said Dr. M. "Thank you... please ask the Malay guy to come here."

So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question.
"Uh... 2 million boleh lah," replies the Malay applicant.
"2 million? That's a lot of money! Even the aneh before you only asked for one million!"
"You see, Datuk," explained Mat. "I have 4 wives and 15 children...so, 20 of us in the family, we need a lot of money to support ourselves..."
"I see," said Dr. M. "Okay, can you ask the Chinese guy to come up here now?"

The Chinese guy comes in and Dr. M asks, "Ah Chong, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid?"
Ah Chong thinks for a while, and suddenly says, "3 million."
Mahathir is shocked. "WHAT?!?! 3 million? Why so much?!"
Ah Chong beckons Dr. M to come closer, and whispers, "One million you keep, one million I keep, and then one more million to send the aneh into space."

Joke 2: The First Malaysian in Space

Mahathir finally sends a Malaysian into space courtesy of the Russians. Finally, after months of training, the Malaysian astronaut and a chimpanzee are blasted off into space.

Once in orbit, the Malaysian waits for instructions. The screen flickers and the instrucions are flashed on it:

"Chimpanzee, execute space manuever No. 23B"

The chimp takes over flight control and carries out the manuever. The Malaysian astronaut is impressed but patient... he knows his instructions will come and they'll probably be more complex than what the chimp just did.

The screen flickers again and more instructions appear:

"Chimpanzee, carry out scientific experiment No. 234"

The chimp goes to the lab and mixes chemicals and carries out all sorts of complex scientific experiments. While he's doing this, the Malaysian astronaut is impatient. He speaks to Ground Control tru the comm link: "Eh Control, how come I got nothing to do man... train for so long but the monyet does all the important work but I'm smarter than the monyet"

Finally Ground Control responds: "Be patient, your instructions are coming soon"

Finally, the monkey rejoins the Malaysian astronaut and they wait for the instructions from the screen.

THe screen flickers and the message appears....

"Prepare for new instructions...."

A small door under the screen opens. Inside, there is a compartment with a wrapped item inside.....

"Malaysian astronaut, remove the item and unwrap then wait for further instructions"

The Malaysian astronaut unwraps the item and finds a banana inside. "Must be biogenetic banana" he thinks...

The screen flickers again....

"Malaysian astronaut, please feed the monkey"

Who will be the first Malaysian Astronaut?

FM: Ok everyone...if you're to choose between the two below to become Malaysia's first Astronaut, who will you pick?

The answer is obvious isn't it? We'll pick the GOOD LOOKING ONE! That's the Malaysian way..hah hah hah. If we have a SMS contest to select the candidate...the answer will still be the same.

It is official: Dr Sheikh Muszaphar is our astronaut

PETALING JAYA: Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi has named Dr Sheikh Muszaphar as the “primary candidate” and Kapt Dr Faiz Khaleed as the “secondary candidate” to go to space.

There has been a lot of speculation in the past few weeks with the foreign media naming Dr Sheikh Muszaphar as Malaysia’s first angkasawan (astronaut).

The Malaysian Angkasawan will join American astronaut Peggy Whitson and Russian cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko in the flight to the International Space Station on board the Russian Soyuz TMA-11, which will blast off from Baikanur in Kazakhstan on Oct 10.

Source: The Star Online

Reason Behind The Recent Condemnation Against Bloggers by Kenny Sia

Malaysian Funny Blogger extraordinaire wrote this hilarious blog on socio-political bloggers. Kenny Sia wrote:

Excerpts:

My mom walked into my room one day and threw a copy of the newspaper onto my table.

"KENNY! Explain to me what this is all about. Why are all these bloggers getting arrested?! Even the Prime Minister also come out and give warning to bloggers! You better be careful what you write on your blog ah!"

Bloggers have been appearing in the newspaper left right and centre lately. Not necessarily for good reasons.

.....

What's the big idea?

The most obvious thing these four bloggers all have in common is that they are all considered socio-political bloggers. Unlike Kenny Sia, these guys don't write about how the logo of some bank resemble a penis, or how some metallic bird in Kuching was equipped flashing neon lights.

These guys write the serious stuff.

Which is why as much as there are different theories thrown around about the sudden wave of condemnation against bloggers, the most logical assumption is this simple fact - elections are coming.

.....

Perhaps the officials have another reason to be even MORE afraid when Jeff Ooi announced recently that he is crossing over into politics. He will be contesting in the next General Elections as part of the Opposition.

This is big news. In fact, this is HUGE news.

This is the first time in Malaysian history that a popular blogger will be competing in an election. This is the first time a socio-political blogger might actually end up becoming a member of the Malaysian parliament.

......

Now, this is just a suggestion. But if Jeff wants to run a campaign to woo younger voters in the upcoming elections, I think I might have a solution for it.

Behold, my 'suggested' campaign video for Jeff Ooi's upcoming parliamentary election. Sure, it's a little rough around the edges. Hey, I'm not Namewee. What matters is that it comes from the heart.

Read further...

'Dentist' nabbed after 29 years

KUALA LUMPUR: He was a dentist for the last 29 years, but his career ended yesterday when he was nabbed by health officers.

The 63-year-old man never studied dentistry. The closest he came to the profession was between 1962 and 1978 when he would assist an army dentist by carrying his bag during visits to Felda settlements, for which he was paid a daily wage of RM7.

"I watched the doctor diagnose and treat problems with teeth. I also saw how he would extract teeth and make models and measurements for dentures to replace missing teeth," he said when he was arrested for practising dentistry illegally at his flat in Taman Jinjang Baru, Jinjang, here.

His treatment room, equipped with a dental chair and other paraphernalia, is located next to the kitchen of the ground floor unit.

"I also make house visits," he said.
The raiding party, which was acting on a tip-off, comprised officers of the Health Ministry and Federal Territory Health Department as well as men from Jinjang police.

Among the items seized from the premises were antibiotics, painkillers, syringes and bottles containing Chinese medicine.

One of the neighbours said she had always thought that the man was a retired army dentist.

"That is what he made us believe," said the neighbour, who declined to give her name.

According to her, many people had sought treatment from him and from what she heard, he charged RM20 for extraction and more than RM100 for dentures.

The man remained calm during the raid and the subsequent interrogation.

He said he made dentures for RM130 and that most of his clients paid the money in instalments.

"There are some who never pay me and they threaten me when I ask them for money," he said.

Asked why he did not seek work as a dentist’s assistant, he said: "I did inquire, but they said I am too old."

To another question, he said he got the dental chair in 1978 when the army wanted to throw it away.

"I took it and modified it," he said, adding that the chair was more than 60 years old and was an antique.

It took more than six men to carry it out of the flat.

The Health Ministry’s medical practice director Dr Mohd Khairi Yakub said the bogus dentist would be charged under the Private Healthcare Facilities and Services Act, where he is liable to a fine of up to RM300,000 or a maximum six years’ jail or both upon conviction.

He said there could be more people passing off as dentists.

"But it will not be long before we catch up with them," he added.

Source: The New Straits Times

Malaysian Bomb Disposal Unit: Malaysia Boleh!

Bomb Squad Personnel From United States

Bomb Squad Personnel From China

Bomb Squad Personnel From Malaysia

Malaysian Bomb Squad Personnel don't believe on wearing those bulky and cumbersome Kevlar suit and face protection. Wearing the suit is simply a waste of time and it makes the job of disposing the bomb much difficult.

Furthermore, in the spirit of being efficient, two personnels are required to dispose a bomb - one to describe the bomb and the other to do on the spot report.

Malaysia Boleh!

Malaysian Management Style

The Malaysian Rowing Team

To prove that Malaysia Boleh, there will be an annual rowing competition against the Japanese Rowing Team. It was agreed that each team to be made up of 8 members. After months of intensive training, the race began!

The Japanese won by 1 km!

The Malaysians were furious with the disappointing results. The management decided to win the race next year at ANY cost. So they established a team of analysts to observe the situation and recommend an appropriate solution. After detailed analysis, the team observed that the Japanese had seven rowers and one captain.

The Malaysian team had SEVEN CAPTAINS and only ONE ROWER!

Facing such a critical scenario, the management showed an unexpected wisdom. They hired a consulting company to restructure the Malaysian Team.

After many months…

The consultants concluded that there were too many captains and too few rowers in the Malaysian team.

A solution was proposed based on this BRILLIANT analysis.

The structure of the team must change immediately. As today, there will only be 4 captains, 2 supervisors, 1 manager and 1 rower.

Besides this, they also suggested to improve the rower’s working environment and to give him higher competencies.

Come next year, the Japanese won by 2 km!

The Malaysian team immediately removed the rower from the team based on his unsatisfactory performance. A bonus award was paid to the management for the excellent motivation they had shown during the preparation phase.

The consulting company further prepared a new analysis, which showed that the strategy was good, the motivation satisfactory, but the tools had to be improved.

Currently, the Malaysian Team is designing a NEW BOAT!

Malaysia Boleh!