Bad Name For A Sisha Tobacco: AL Fakher by Kenny Sia

These funny photos are taken from Kenny Sia Blog

Nail Me Good - Bad Name For a Nail Salon by Kenny Sia

Kenny Sia wrote:

"The owner of this nail salon must've got her inspiration during a boink.

Or more likely, she just didn't know the double-meaning of the word "nail".

Who the heck calls their nail salon "NAIL ME GOOD" anyway? Now we know all her customers will be going to her salon to get nailed good. Real good.

Hey! Maybe next, she'll open a massage centre, called "BANG ME HARD"." Read further...

Malaysian Health Minister Sex Tape by Kenny Sia

Kenny Sia wrote:

"I thought the government was gonna announce an election early this year. Instead what we saw was an erection.

...

In case you didn't get what I was talking about, apparently our Malaysian Health Minister did a Paris Hilton and appeared in a sex video tape. 60-year-old Datuk Seri Chua Soi Lek was caught with his pants down having sex with a young girl who wasn't his wife. The video was leaked and made into a DVD distributed throughout Johor.

Following the release of the sex tape, the Health Minister who is also MCA vice-president subsequently apologised and resigned from all posts.

...

The minister claimed that the woman he was caught having sex with was "a personal friend".

I used to think personal friends are those people you go out with from time-to-time to have Starbucks and then disappear all of the sudden when your birthday is coming close. I didn't know you could actually have sex with personal friends. Wtf I feel so cheated. Dammit all you personal friends of mine I want my money back." Read further

Kick Kenny Sia between his two large coconuts

An very entertaining game. Kenny if you're reading this, please don't get angry. It's just a harmless game.

Cultural Learnings of Hanoi For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Malaysia by Kenny Sia

Here are few excerpts from Kenny Sia's blog, another funny and enjoyable entry from the funny man. Kenny Sia wrote:


On drinking coffee... Excerpts:

"This is ka fay sua da, otherwise known as Vietnamese iced coffee.

When I took a sip at this drink for the first time, my eyes widened, my arsehole tightened and I was bouncing off the walls. That was the strongest iced coffee I've had!

All they gave us was a glass of condensed milk with a weird contraption on top. All it contained was ground coffee and a dose of hot water. But what passed through the filter, dripping into the glass below was ounces of pure coffee heaven.

It's the Asian version of espresso, it's so rich with caffeine kick and it's cheap as hell.

Someone has gotta import this thing here.

We may have spent 4 days in Vietnam, but when we returned, the only Vietnamese word we could speak was ka fay sua da!"

On driving in Vietnam... Excerpts:

"Vietnamese people drive without a care in the world. Road rules are for decoration and zebra crossings are nothing but graffiti on the road. There are tens of other people fitting into the same lane as you. The unspoken rule is that you just cycle slowly, stay on course and others will avoid you.

That doesn't always work, especially when you're trying to cross a busy intersection where bicycles, motorcycles and cars all zoom past you so close you can feel them against your knees. In a situation like this, the last thing you wanna do is PANIC.

Which is of course exactly what I did.

A motorcycle overtook me from behind. In the heat of the moment, I lost my balance, collided into him, fell onto the ground as a car whizzed by me, narrowly missing my head and turning me into a bloody pulp.

I survived (of course), suffering injuries no worse than a sprained wrist and a bruised kneecap.

But as they say, "once bitten twice shy".

The followed day I decided to play on the safe side and cycled as slowly and as carefully as I could...

Screw it, I'm walking instead."

Read further...

If Vietnamese Speak Hokkien by Kenny Sia

Kenny Sia wrote:

Excerpts:

"We are on our second last day in Vietnam.
...
Not far away from where we stay, I saw this guesthouse with a pretty bizzare name.

My Cock Guesthouse!" Read further...

Something Smells Familiar by Galvin George Tan

Kenny Sia kannasai again. Poor Kenny. A fellow Malaysian blogger, Galvin George Tan who was on vacation in Pattaya, Thailand spotted this article in there local newspaper. Galvin George Tan wrote:

Excerpts:

"You know the old adage that says "People learn from their mistakes (or the mistakes of others)"? It's not true! Somebody's work just got plagiarized again.

My sis and I picked up a recent newspaper while we were on vacation in Pattaya, Thailand. It's called "Pattaya Today".

It's filled with articles and advertisements that I couldn't care less about. That was until I flipped to a section called "Lighter Side".

How enlightening indeed. Despite being discolored, distorted and cropped, one of the pictures looks too familiar.

Heck! That isn't Pattaya. It looks more like my beloved hometown - Kuching. But that wasn't it. I recognized the picture from somewhere.

Read further Galvin George Tan's blog"

Reason Behind The Recent Condemnation Against Bloggers by Kenny Sia

Malaysian Funny Blogger extraordinaire wrote this hilarious blog on socio-political bloggers. Kenny Sia wrote:

Excerpts:

My mom walked into my room one day and threw a copy of the newspaper onto my table.

"KENNY! Explain to me what this is all about. Why are all these bloggers getting arrested?! Even the Prime Minister also come out and give warning to bloggers! You better be careful what you write on your blog ah!"

Bloggers have been appearing in the newspaper left right and centre lately. Not necessarily for good reasons.

.....

What's the big idea?

The most obvious thing these four bloggers all have in common is that they are all considered socio-political bloggers. Unlike Kenny Sia, these guys don't write about how the logo of some bank resemble a penis, or how some metallic bird in Kuching was equipped flashing neon lights.

These guys write the serious stuff.

Which is why as much as there are different theories thrown around about the sudden wave of condemnation against bloggers, the most logical assumption is this simple fact - elections are coming.

.....

Perhaps the officials have another reason to be even MORE afraid when Jeff Ooi announced recently that he is crossing over into politics. He will be contesting in the next General Elections as part of the Opposition.

This is big news. In fact, this is HUGE news.

This is the first time in Malaysian history that a popular blogger will be competing in an election. This is the first time a socio-political blogger might actually end up becoming a member of the Malaysian parliament.

......

Now, this is just a suggestion. But if Jeff wants to run a campaign to woo younger voters in the upcoming elections, I think I might have a solution for it.

Behold, my 'suggested' campaign video for Jeff Ooi's upcoming parliamentary election. Sure, it's a little rough around the edges. Hey, I'm not Namewee. What matters is that it comes from the heart.

Read further...

Cheated By The Hong Kong Lucky Draw Scam by Kenny Sia

Check out how Kenny Sia deals with Scam artist. Kenny Sia wrote:

Excerpts:

"The lady from the other end of the phone spoke to me with that easily identifiable mainland Chinese accent. Ching chong lady told me from she's from a Hong Kong company, calling me to conduct a marketing survey in Malaysia.

That's sounded alright, so I obliged and I was asked some pretty standard questions like how old I am, my monthly income and stuff like that. The phone call lasted for about 20 minutes. As a token of appreciation. ching chong lady gave me a lucky draw number for a publicity event they will be holding in Genting.

Since I couldn't possibly be attending the event all the way in Genting, I didn't bother writing that number down and just forget about it.

The next evening around 6pm, Ching Chong lady called again. This time she sounded happy and excited, as if China has just won the World Cup. In the background, the crowd noise typical of a big dinner function can be heard.

Ching Chong Lady: Mr Kenny Sia! Are you Mr Kenny Sia!? Listen, are you in Genting right now?!
Kenny: No, I thought I mentioned yesterday that I couldn't attend the event because I am in Sarawak?
Ching Chong Lady: Ohhh! No wonder our emcee called your name so many times and you didn't come up on stage!
Kenny: What is going on?
Ching Chong Lady: Mr Kenny Sia, you just won the second prize of our lucky draw! Congratulations!
Kenny: Oh, cool. *thinking it was probably like a toaster or a fan or something*
Ching Chong Lady: YOU JUST WON YOURSELF $240,000 HK DOLLARS!!!
Kenny: Whoa?!

Honestly, at that point in time I could not believe my luck. I had believed Miss Ching Chonglady completely.

HKD$240,000 is about RM120,000. That is a lot of money.

Ching Chonglady congratulated me further. Before we ended our conversation, she advised me to stay safe and invited me to visit their company when they set up a branch in Malaysia. I agreed. She was so nice and courteous that I didn't even suspect a single thing.

That night, I went to bed feeling elated. I even dreamt about how to spend my prize money." Read further...

Bad Logo For A Bank by Kenny Sia

Kenny Sia wrote:

Excerpts:

Al-Rajhi Bank, one of the most aggressively expanding foreign banks, has finally opened its doors in Kuching.I'm sure I'm not the only person thinking this way, but everytime I stare at the bank's logo I thought it looked a little bit...

...obscene.

Seriously, look at it carefully. It does seem a little wrong.

Come on. Don't tell me you couldn't at least see two balls and one batang sticking out in that picture." Read further...

Another funny blogger, Aku Betul also made the same observation in his earlier posting. It goes to show that Man sometimes have a one track mind.

Transformers Made In Malaysia by Kenny Sia

Kenny Sia wrote:

Excerpts:

"But after watching such an action-packed Hollywood movie, I walked back to my car and thought... What if Transformers were made in Malaysia?

Imagine how different it is gonna be like.

Firstly, there's not gonna be some silly little planet called Cybertron anymore. Instead, our Transformers will be coming in from Cyberjaya.

The bad guys will not be called the Decepticons and the good guys will not be called Autobots .

To reflect our true Malaysian flavour, the bad guys' name will be changed to DeceptiProtons

And the good guys? Peroduabots.

Heck, maybe the title of movie won't even be called Transformers anymore.

If it were made in Malaysia, we would call it Kereta Tukar-Menukar!" Read further...

I Have PMS (Pre-Marathon Stress) by Kenny Sia

Kenny Sia wrote:

Excerpt:

"Things I look forward to:

- The exhiliration and energy of the crowd at the starting line.
- Keeping my target pace consistently at 6:50 per km.
- The hypnotic trance I get into midway through the race.
- Watching girls in short shorts.
- The indescribable feeling when I cross the finishing line.

Things I fear:

- 1km of uphill climb in the middle of the bridge.
- Cramps. I had a severe case last year at the 30km mark that basically forced me to walk for the remaining 12km.
- Bad weather. The forecast for Sunday according to Yahoo! Weather is "Scattered Thunderstorms". So not looking forward to that. Just a few days ago, Penang was the target of a freak storm that blew off boats. Surely you won't wanna see headlines that scream "Kuching Marathoner Blown Off The Penang Bridge" tomorrow on the newspapers." Read further...

Funny Malaysia: Good luck Kenny...make sure you don't fall off the bridge.

License To Touch by Kenny Sia

Kenny Sia Wrote:

Excerpt:

"If you have looks as unfortunate as mine, girls are not exactly gonna be very receptive to you touching them at all. Even a friendly gesture of touching at the back momentarily is gonna be taken as something sleazy, no matter how genuine you want it to be.

But if you look like DAVID BECKHAM, then suddenly it becomes a wholeeeee different story." Read further...

Touched For The Very First Time by Kenny Sia

Kenny Sia Wrote:

Excerpt:

"A common friend of ours spotted Jo and introduced us to each other. It was the first time I've met her, so I did the normal thing by making a small talk and socialising.

But while I was doing that, my hand was unwittingly placed behind Jo's back.

No, I'm not grabbing her arse or anything. Just comfortably placed on the small of her back while she yelled into my ears, because hey, there were drums there and it was loud!

It wasn't until months after that incident that Jo told me she was actually feeling uncomfortable that I was physically touching her that night.

Seeing as how I was a total stranger and it was only the first time we met, she thought it was kinda inappropriate. And when she revealed that to me, I felt like crap! There was nothing malicious at all about that hand behind her back, but I felt bad because I was making her feel uncomfortable.

Suddenly, I felt like a sexual molester!" Read further...

If Shanghai Bank Speaks Malay by Kenny Sia

Kenny Sia wrote:

Excerpt:

"If the name of that little pig is called PUKI, does that mean his mother is called PUKIMA?" Read further...