What I think of Transformers by CMOS

CMOS wrote:

Excerpts:

"Okies... okies... wiv so much negative backlash arising from this puny post... I've decided to elaborate a little, to justify my claims on Bay being gay.

The good :

As much as I hate all the GM and Ford product endorsements, there were a spark or two in the movie. Seeing Bumblebee morph from a beat up ol' 70s muscle car into a spanking new yellow Camaro Concept almost made me cream in my pants. If that didn't do the job, the chase scene between the Mustang and the Camaro totally had me making sweet orgasmic pudding in my nether regions. For me, these were the best parts of the show.

The bad :

*
Cheesy... cheesy... cheesy lines entrusted upon iconic Peter Cullen (who I absolutely adore). Somehow, they work better in Sunday morning cartoons. Totally suck donkeyballs when translated onto the big screen.
*
Being a Michael Bay movie, there were enough explosions to annihilate the entire human population; three times over.
*
Who da fark is Sam Whatchamacallit? Irritating as hell. Bring back Spike if there's a sequel.
*
What's da point of the whole 'grandad-glasses' plotline, when the damn US government have already found the stupid cube decades ago?
*
No proper introduction for the Decepticons. When Megatron bellowed, "You have failed me yet again... Starscream", who da fark would know what the bitch did in the past?" Read further...

Superbike - Ah-Ha Funny Skits

A classic Ah-Ha skits. Enjoy!

AH HA - Superbike - The best bloopers are a click away





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Karma by NicoleKiss

Nicolekiss wrote:

Excerpts:

"Do you believe in Karma?

Let me tell you a story about a little car named ChocoMyvi (a new name for my car which I created 5 mins ago)

One day, after a long day at work, I returned to my condo, up the parking lot I drove (my parking lot is on the first level), eager to set my ChocoMyvi into her little space (yes it's a girl) when I spotted something!


Some ChocoMyvi-looking car was already in the space my little ChocoMyvi used to sleep everynight!!!

"OMG, where is my dear Chocie going to sleep tonight!!"

So I took out a piece of paper and very reluctantly wrote this down." Read further...

Important Memo to all Employees

Memo to All Employees:

In order to ensure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T).

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T) .

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).

Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T , you may be interested in a job teaching others.
We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T).

Thank you.

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)

P.S.: Now send this S.H.I.T to 5 people who need S.H.I.T in their lives, just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T. I have already had my fill of S.H.I.T.

Thank you for your time!

Sincerely

The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.
(The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T).

One day in Malaysian Court: Don't ask question if you don want to hear the answer...

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't
prepared for the worst answer. ...........
In a trial, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. The witness was a grand motherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked, "Puan Rozana, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Encik Razak. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned.

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,
"Puan Rozana, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Encik Samy since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem.

He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt."

Sex Calorie Counter

For those who are about to engage in a bit of badabing-badaboong, the Sexual Calorie Counter below may be of some used to you. If your partner complains that you've not been exercising enough, just show the Sexual Calorie Counter

[Click image to enlarge the picture]

Proton Cars

Dr M were meeting the other Asean leaders in KL. As the Proton (Wira and Perdana) sales were not going too well, he took the opportunity to do some hard sell to these guys.

Dr M: 'President Suharto, how many Protons will you be able to buy?' Suh.: '2000 is not a problem.'

Dr M (very happy): 'Thanks. President Ramos, how about you?'

Ramos: 'Deliver 5000 to Philipines next week.'

Dr M: 'Thanks for the support.'

Sultan Bolkiah (determined not to be outdone): 'Brunei roads can well afford another 10,000 Protons. Send them over next month.'

Dr M by now is very pleased that his hard sell is doing so well. Finally he turned to Goh Chok Tong.

Dr M: 'Mr Goh, how about you?'

Goh: 'I will take 500 cars, but with the special condition that they be painted in pink.'

Dr M: 'That is not a problem. But I wonder, why choose pink when we have so many other nice colours?'

Goh: 'That's because I have to find 500 suckers.'

A very interesting Curriculum Vitae (CV or Resume): A lesson on how not to write your CV

A funny Curriculum Vitae (CV or Resume) by a very 'confident' woman. I wonder whether she got the job?

[Click on image to enlarge the picture]

Perompak Kita Bodoh by Aku Betul

Aku Betul wrote:

Excerpts:

"Recent weeks also prove penjenayah kita sedikit kurang ilmu dan hampir tiada otak. Atau lebih adil dikatakan kurang creative. Ada ke patut asyik ‘serang’ ATM machine.


27 June – Maybank, Subang Jaya

14 June – CIMB, The Summit

7 June – RHB, Sri Damansara

6 June – Hong Leong Bank, Kepong

Aku dah malas nak search lagi, maybe there are more than 4 cases dalam bulan ini.

Come on, in one whole month 4 similar cases within Klang Valley sahaja. The best thing is, only the 1st attempt sahaja yang membuahkan hasil. Lagi tiga tu semuanya gagal. (Some news feed reported all 4 failed, some said yang di Kepong tu berjaya larikan duiit, nevermind, even 25% still consider gagal dalam exam). Yang 7 June tu lagi menarik, perompak tu siap curi lorry dulu, then planning nak gunakan lorry tu to pull the ATM machine, but security guard datang sergah mereka then they flew away dan tinggalkan lorry disana. Hahahahha…. Badut sarkas.

To all robber and theft around Malaysia, seriously deep in my heart I believe you guys can do much better than that… Remember, Malaysia Boleh…!" Read further...

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