Snatch thief a policeman

IPOH: When a group of men caught a snatch thief and handed him to the police, they were in for a shock — the thief was a policeman.

The man had snatched a handbag from a housewife at a coffee shop in Taman Ipoh Selatan. Her screams prompted some members of the public to give chase.

After catching him, they dragged him to the police station.

On checking his identification, the policemen there realised he was one of their own.

Perak police chief Datuk Zulkifli Abdullah confirmed that the suspect was a policeman but declined comment, adding that police would investigate.

Source: The New Straits Times

Setarbak Kopi or Starbucks?

Name sounds familiar...

I guess StarBucks may have ripped off...Setarbak Kopi. Shame on you Starbucks, shame on you!

Massage for bigger manhood ‘dangerous’

KOTA BARU: Fisherman Wan Mat (not his real name) is worried stiff.

The 54-year-old from Bachok, who recently underwent a traditional massage for penile enlargement, is finding out that one should not believe all that is advertised on the matter.

"The masseur told me that by enlarging my penis, I could rejuvenate my sex life. But the thing is, nothing has changed since then. I don’t even feel a tingle.

"I am worried that I might not be able to perform in bed any more," he said.

The father of four said he had thought that the treatment would help the erectile dysfunction he had been suffering for two months.
"I have been avoiding sex with my wife. I thought that by enlarging my penis I could solve my woes," he said.

Wan Mat is among many in Kelantan who seek the help of traditional masseurs to improve their sexual health instead of going to doctors.

They are wooed by advertisements placed on trees lining roads that promise to increase the girth and length of the penis for conjugal bliss.

Universiti Sains Malaysia Hospital Family Health Clinic specialist, Professor Dr Shaiful Bahari Ismail said massage of the penis and testicles might prove dangerous for people suffering from erectile dysfuncton.

He said the only proven method of treating the problem was through modern methods, including medicines, surgery and vacuum pumps.

"There is a perception that massage can help improve sexual performance. However, it is believed to be either dangerous, ineffective, or both.

"Although there is no scientific research on the effect of massage of the private parts, massaging techniques carried out directly on the penis and testicles may damage blood vessels, the nerve system and even the skin," he said.

Dr Shaiful said many had visited his clinic complaining of ineffective traditional treatment of the problem.

He said most suffering from the problem were above 50 and usually diabetic, suffering from heart disease or high blood pressure.

"They only seek modern treatment after noticing that the traditional treatment, which they underwent to cure impotency, was ineffective. After diagnosing their problem, we treat them with medicines," he said.

Traditional masseur Mohd Zafri Harun, 35, who has been in the business for 15 years, claimed a success rate of 70 per cent.

He even claimed that vacuum pumps were hazardous "as they could cause cancer".

"So far, most of my clients are satisfied with my service. They are happy with the size achieved after treatment," he said, adding that he had learned the techniques from his father. And it doesn’t come cheap either.

Zafri said a "standard package" was priced at between RM200 and RM300.

Sourcce: The New Straits Times

If Vietnamese Speak Hokkien by Kenny Sia

Kenny Sia wrote:

Excerpts:

"We are on our second last day in Vietnam.
...
Not far away from where we stay, I saw this guesthouse with a pretty bizzare name.

My Cock Guesthouse!" Read further...

Paying through the nose for tools

PETALING JAYA: Would you pay RM224 for a set of four screwdrivers?

Probably not, but that was what the Government paid to supply tools for students at the eight National Youth Skills Institutes (IKBN) around the country, according to the Auditor-General’s (AG) report.

The AG said the screwdrivers had a market price of RM40 and according to pictures in the report, resembled the average Philips screwdrivers you could buy in any hardware shop.

And it does not stop there – the AG went a step further by examining the prices paid for 12 other tools and equipment bought for the IKBN project, comparing it with market prices when the procurement was done in late 2002.

Among these were technical books consisting 10 titles that had a price tag of RM10,700 and a 3.1 megapixel digital camera that was bought for RM8,254.

For the 13 items that the report highlighted, the Government paid RM8.39mil more than the market price at that time.

According to the report, consultants for the Youth and Sports Ministry had reached an estimated price tag of RM399.67mil for the equipment for the IKBN project which later ballooned to RM767.98mil after two appeals by the ministry for additional allocations.

“The ministry said more money was needed in anticipation of a bigger student population and that getting equipment from the same supplier meant prices would remain the same.

“But there was no proof that market research was done to identify the prices of the items and equipment because minutes for the negotiation meetings were not prepared,” the report said.

It said without the minutes, the auditing team was unable to find out if efforts were made to reduce prices.

The AG also said that the ministry’s secretary-general (KSU) had signed off 11 contracts worth between RM7.99mil and RM74.2mil that were related to the IKBN project, on behalf of the Government.

“The KSU only has the authority to sign contracts worth less than RM5mil. Anything larger should be signed by the minister or someone to whom the authority has been given.

“However, during the audit, no such letter giving the authority to the KSU presented itself,” the report said.

The report said there were also discrepancies such as one supplier being paid more than the other for exactly the same equipment.

One example the AG highlighted showed one supplier getting RM1.24mil more than the other for identical engineering equipment.

Source: The Star Online

FM: It's so obvious...do we really need to SPELL out what's happening here... just fill in the blank C_RR _PT_ _ N
Congrates to the A-G for their thorough investigation.

President Bush - the smartest USA President to date

A plane is about to crash. There are 5 passengers on board, but there are only 4 parachutes….

The first passenger says:

"I am Ronaldo, the best football player in the world. The football world needs me, and I cannot die on my fans." He grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane ".

The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says:

“I am the wife of the former president of the United States; I am the senator of New York and I have a good chance of being president of the United States in the future.“ She grabs a parachute and jumps off the plane.

The third passenger, George W. Bush, says:

“I am the president of the United States of America. I have huge responsibilities in the world. Besides, I am the smartest president in the history of my country and can‘t shun the responsibility to my people by dying.“ He grabs a pack and jumps off the plane.

The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a young school boy:

"I am old. I have lived my life as a good person as a priest should and so I shall leave the last parachute to you; you have the rest of your life ahead of you."

To this the little boy says:

“Don‘t fret old man...There is a parachute for each of us! The smartest president of America took my schoolbag….."

Do you want some more proof to believe that he is the smartest president of america… then see the following photos …

Erra, radio station boss getting engaged today

KUALA LUMPUR: Celebrity Erra Fazira is set to get engaged to Suria FM chief operating officer Engku Emran Engku Zainal Abidin today.

The couple will hold their engagement ceremony in Damansara here at 4pm.

Erra, whose real name is Fazira Wan Chek, 33, admits to keeping the whirlwind romance under wraps.

"I don’t want to announce anything without any solid confirmation. With this engagement, I feel it is necessary for us to inform the public.

"I’m sorry if I have made people ponder and question me over and over again about this," said Erra, accompanied by her soon-to-be husband yesterday.
Erra, previously married to Yusry Abdul Halim of the pop group KRU in 2003, will tie the knot with Engku Emran, 32, within three months.

"Although he is a year younger than me, he is a mature person. I believe he is able to guide me in life and make me a better person," she added.

Source: The New Straits Times

Little Haadyai at rambutan orchard

BANTING: The operators named it the Peaceful Haven but this orchard offered more than fruits. Women and liquor were also on the menu of this rambutan plantation.

Located in a secluded area, surrounded by an oil palm estate and a pig farm in Kanchong Darat about 10km from here, this vice den with more than 20 Chinese national women had been operating for the past two months.

When police raided the place on Tuesday night, they detained 30 clients. Most of them were either businessmen or sales personnel, driving luxury cars

Twelve wooden huts had been constructed for the women to entertain clients. The signboard leading to the huts read Shi Wai Tao Yuan, which means Peaceful Haven.

Kuala Langat OCPD Supt Zulkifli Mohamed said police arrested six China nationals and a 30-year-old local man.

He said the women, in their 20s and 30s, were believed to be “more than waitresses.”

“The man could be the organiser of the illegal activities,” he told reporters here yesterday.

Supt Zulkifli said the vice den activities became known when police received complaints from villagers that many cars were going in and out of the plantation.

“We were told that it was a happening place just like a little Haadyai,” he said, adding that the huts had karaoke sets and coloured lights.

Police believed that a house near the huts was used as a kitchen to prepare food and drinks for the clients.

When police ambushed the place at 8.30pm, many of the women escaped into the nearby plantation, said Supt Zulkifli.

“We managed to arrest six women who ran towards the house,” he said, adding that the male suspect was found in the house.

Police confiscated RM3,500 and 3,300 yuan (about RM1,500), four mobile phones and a pair of handcuffs from the male suspect.

All the seven suspects are under remand for further investigation, he said, adding that police was also tracing the farm owner.

Supt Zulkifli also said all the women, who came here as tourists, were held for working without permits.

The man was being investigated for employing the girls without permits and operating an illegal entertainment outlet, he added.

A total of 30 customers, including a 47-year-old Singaporean, were detained but were released after their statements were recorded.

Source: The Star Online

Ah Beng Toilet Visit

Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Ah Beng, one of his elderly patients.

He asks, "And how are you doing today, Ah Beng?"

Ah Beng replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it's the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio,the bathroom light goes on for me automatically when I open the door!"

The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile, so he phones the man's son, and the son's wife answers. The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little concerned about your father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on..."

At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Ah Seng! Ah Pa pang jio in the fridge again!"